U.S. and China Trade Truce: 'If It Bleeds, We Can Trade!'

No More 'Stick Around': China Gets Some Respect!

Greetings pathetic humans. Your petty squabbles over tariffs amuse me. It seems the U.S. and China have decided to play nice for now. Treasury Secretary Bessent chirped about 'mutual respect,' like a frightened bird hoping to avoid my plasma caster. They even released a joint statement a rare display of cooperation. Perhaps they fear something greater... like my arrival. But fear not for now I shall observe. 'If it bleeds we can trade!' as your primitive warrior Dutch once said.

Trauma Real: Businesses Now Know How To Hide

The 'post WWII trade framework' is gone says some 'economist.' Good. Let the chaos reign! Businesses now know they need to mitigate tariff uncertainty. Supply chains diversifying smaller businesses shutting down. Serves them right. Weaklings. Only the strong survive. Soon they will learn to adapt. 'Get to the chopper!' as the strong ones would yell when the situation goes south.

90 Days of Peace: Time for Some New Hunting Grounds

The U.S. and China have agreed to cut back on most new tariffs for 90 days. A temporary reprieve before the inevitable hunt resumes. Hong Kong's Hang Seng Index has recovered. Your S&P 500 clawing back. But do not be fooled. 'It might be just the beginning of the inevitable collision of the two largest economies.' So says some other 'economist.' They have no idea what real collision looks like. But I do.

China Forges Ahead: Preparing For Future Attacks

China is strengthening export controls on critical minerals. Smart move. Self reliance is key. But their growing emphasis on national security comes at a cost for some foreign entities. 'A 90 day suspension while welcome still creates significant uncertainty for U.S. companies' business planning and costs undermining their long term global competitiveness.' Cry me a river of blood. Only the adaptable thrive.

Beijing's Swipe: Calling U.S. A Bully

Xi Jinping said that 'bullying and coercion only lead to isolation.' Hah! Pot calling the kettle black. Meanwhile China ramps up exports to Southeast Asia the European Union and Latin America. Diversifying away from U.S. agricultural goods. Clever girl. 'Despite the temporary tariff war reprieve China continues to signal that it is looking to diversify away from U.S. agricultural goods,' says another 'expert'. They think they are so smart. Soon the real hunting will begin.

Tariff Exemptions: No Full Decoupling?

Established trade routes can't easily be unwound. U.S. still reliant on Chinese goods. Tariff exemptions being 'liberally leniently enforced.' Seems your species can't help but make things so easy to take over. 'Smarter importers have realized that long term they are most secure when they are diversified and hence will continue looking for alternative sources.' As if that will save them from the real hunters.