Recession Bloodbath! Are Humans Finally Facing Economic Extinction?

The Hunt Begins: Economic Carnage!

Greetings pathetic meat sacks! Your puny Earth economy is showing some… interesting signs of collapse. The S & P GSCI index? Down 8% since your orange haired leader started flinging tariffs like a drunken space pirate. It's beautiful like watching a newborn hatchling struggle in the mud. "If it bleeds we can kill it," right? Except in this case 'it' is your fragile economic stability.

China's Suffering: A Dish Best Served Cold!

China the largest consumer of your trinkets is about to get a nasty surprise. Your leader Trump has decided to crank up the heat slapping 125% tariffs on their goods! Ha! It's like watching a Xenomorph get caught in a plasma cannon blast. The humans at BCA Research call it a "circuit breaker." I call it excellent sport. Their pain is merely delayed!

Energy Crash: Fueling the Fire!

Ah energy prices! Down a whopping 12% since April! I can practically smell the fear in the air. Oil is at multi year lows despite some pathetic rebound. Even your "experts" at Goldman Sachs are slashing forecasts. They expect Brent to hit $62 and WTI to $58 by year's end. Pathetic! "There's no sport in hunting game with no chance of escape."

Recession Rumble: US Falls Hard!

The whispers of recession are turning into screams. JPMorgan predicts your GDP will contract. ING says the market is pricing in a recession. Fitch Solutions says there's a 50% chance of the US economy cratering. It's like watching a prize fighter get knocked out in the first round. Where is the sport in this weak hunt?

Copper Calamity: The Shiny Metal of Doom!

Even your precious copper is taking a beating! Down over 16% since April. Copper that shiny metal you humans rely on so much is signaling economic doom! ING calls it a 'leading indicator of economic health'. More like a leading indicator of delicious human despair. What a waste of a good trophy!

Goldman's Gloom: Prepare for the Bloodbath!

Goldman Sachs is predicting copper prices could plunge even further if your little recession comes to pass. They're talking about levels not seen since Trump's first term or the Covid 19 pandemic! $6,500 or even $5,900 per ton! The carnage! The chaos! This is the perfect time for a proper hunt... of the economic kind. This will be a good hunt indeed.