If It Bleeds, It Buys: Celebrities and Their First Big Splurges!

The Hunt Begins: A Taste for Shiny Trinkets

The hunt… it is on! I have been watching this Miley Cyrus… a young vibrant prey. She speaks of her first kill – a 'black perforated Alaia belt.' Bah! Such a small trophy for a hunter of her stature. She claims 'emotional attachment.' I see only the glint of metal the hide of exotic creature… or in this case overpriced leather. $850 to $1,750 for a belt? What is this a trophy for ants? The jungle offers better!

One Man's Trash Is Another's Treasure?

She also acquired… *vintage* Bob Mackie dress. 'Estimated' to sell for up to $8,000. Humans and their estimations! It reminds me of when Dutch tried to 'estimate' my firepower. His 'estimate' was… *wrong*. These celebrities they buy trinkets like children chasing fireflies. Such easy prey. What a waste. Give me the heat of battle any day.

If It Bleeds We Can Spend It!

The article speaks of NFL warrior Travis Kelce who squandered $10,000 on… Nike Air MAGs? Such a pathetic display of dominance. The 'Saturday Night Live' buffoon Bowen Yang bought Gucci shoes – the *common* kind. 'The kind I wouldn't feel super cool wearing out now,' he laments. Weak! These humans they crave status but possess no honor in their acquisitions.

Shaq Attack on the Bank Account!

Shaquille O'Neal a formidable beast in his prime spent his first million like a drunken pirate. He paid off his mother's dwelling (a wise move family is everything). But then… three Mercedes Benzes and 'rings and diamonds and earrings.' Pathetic baubles! I prefer the skulls of my enemies. They make a much finer statement.

When You Have It and Lose It You Understand Its Importance

This Kevin Hart a small noisy creature regrets buying 'throwback jerseys.' 'Stupid plus stupid which equals stupid OK?' he cries. Even *he* understands the folly. But the lesson is clear: 'So many people don't understand the value of money until they have it'. I hunt for sport not for wealth. Money is but another trophy easily lost and quickly forgotten.

Advisors: Your Shields Against Economic Predators

The humans in their endless 'wisdom,' suggest seeking 'estate and tax advisors.' They speak of avoiding 'unnecessary taxes.' Ha! As if such petty concerns matter to a Yautja warrior. But perhaps these advisors can teach them to avoid the *real* predators: the ones who bleed their bank accounts dry with overpriced belts and gaudy trinkets. Remember 'If it bleeds we can kill it'. But perhaps better yet 'If it spends foolishly we can laugh at it'.