American iPhone A Pipe Dream? Analysts Say Trump's Wishful Thinking is a Bloody Joke!

Obama Knew It Jobs Knew It: No Jobs Coming Back

What in the blazing sun is this human Trump thinking? Wants to build iPhones in the U.S.? Pfft! As the old ones said 'If it bleeds we can kill it.' But some things are just too… pathetic to even hunt. Turns out back in 2011 even Obama tried to sweet talk Apple's Steve Jobs into making iPhones stateside. Jobs that clever human just laughed and said those jobs were gone. He saw the thermal vision clearly unlike some… others.

Trump's Tariff Tantrums: Making iPhones Great Again?

This Trump he roars about 'reciprocal tariffs' and how the U.S. has all the workforce and resources. Reminds me of a young blood boasting before the hunt. All talk no trophies! But even Apple CEO Tim Cook hasn't stepped up to back him. Analysts are calling it impossible or at best wallet draining. It seems Trump is just using buzzwords like 'reciprocal' as if that's going to convince them. It's a bold move but does it have the guts?

Ka Ching! The Price of Patriotism

So how much would a Yankee doodle iPhone cost? One analyst says the iPhone 16 Pro already at $1,199 could jump 25% just on labor. That's $1,500! Another one screams $3,500! Says Apple would have to cough up $30 billion over three years to move just 10% of its supply chain. It's like they're trying to make a plasma cannon out of rocks and sticks!

China's Got the Numbers: America's Got… What?

Apple makes 80% of its stuff in China. Now with Trump's tariffs there's a 145% tax on them coming into the U.S.. But even if they built them here they'd face tariffs importing parts to the U.S.. It's a bloody mess! Experts and Wall Street are all shaking their heads. One human quipped 'It's pie in the sky!' They see the traps for what they are.

Foxconn's Follies: Dorms Suicide Nets and Low Wages

Turns out getting millions of humans to screw in tiny screws is harder than it looks. Foxconn Apple's main squeeze has campuses with dorms and shuttles. The workers are brought for only short periods. It reminds me of how we would capture and let the prey go to hunt them later. Oh and Foxconn's had some trouble with worker conditions nets around buildings after suicides and overworking. But hey they pay workers $3.63 an hour while minimum wage in California is $16.50. This is not how you get respect not on Yautja Prime not here.

Tooling Engineers and Failed Factories: Cook Knows Best

Apple's CEO Tim Cook is no dummy. He said America doesn't have the tooling engineers! A meeting of those guys in China could fill 'multiple football fields'. And remember that Foxconn factory Trump bragged about in Wisconsin? Supposed to be a $10 billion investment? Ended up making face masks! Even the human cities don't know how to use the resources they have! It's a joke. But even though these humans are pathetic they are entertaining to watch like a group of ants crawling around and struggling in the sun.