Wall Street Plunges! Did I Cause the Stock Market Crash Again?!

Oh Dear What Have I Done?

Right then news time! Seems Wall Street had a bit of a wobble. A big wobble actually! Like when I tried to parallel park my Mini and ended up… well let's just say the S&P 500 dropped 3.5%. That's almost as bad as the time I tried to make a sandwich and the kitchen exploded. Apparently the Dow Jones went down 1014 points! Blimey! Teddy was more stable when I tried to fly him out the window pretending he was a superhero. Whoops! Did I do something? Perhaps I accidentally pressed the wrong button on my calculator... or maybe it was the sprouts?

The Great Tariff Tango

So it appears these 'tariffs' are to blame. Sounds like some kind of fancy dance doesn't it? A bit like my attempt at ballet during that charity event. Apparently America put some extra charges on things coming from China – all of 145%!. It sounds like one of those complicated maths problems I used to avoid at school. All I know is it made the stock market do a funny little dance not unlike when I try to follow instructions from Mrs. Wicket.

Is It a Bear... Or Just a Big Hairy Teddy?

Someone called Rob very clever with numbers says it feels like a 'bear market.' Not a real bear mind you. That would be terrifying! I once mistook a poodle for a bear in the park and nearly fainted. These market swings they say are like a bear run? That's similar to the time I chased after a sausage dog that stole my sausage. Up down all over the place! Like my driving...

Remember the Laughter?

Apparently this isn't the first time this has happened! Back in the days of Covid and that time with the financial crisis things were a bit topsy turvy too. It is indeed very important to 'not get emotional' I agree with the financial guru on that one! Like the time my neighbor scoffed at my ingenious method of painting the house with fireworks I was very close to a state of complete discombobulation! The key is to stay calm and have a cup of tea

American Express? More Like American *Excellent*!

But wait! There's good news! Apparently American Express is doing alright. They say posh people are still spending money. Good for them! Maybe I should get an American Express card. Then I can buy more beans! Though I suspect even they wouldn't approve of my method of paying with buttons safety pins and the occasional lost sock. I once tried to use Teddy as collateral... they weren't impressed.

Come Join the Chaos!

And here's an offer! 'Pro LIVE' at the New York Stock Exchange. More experts more advice! I'm sure it's all very helpful if you understand what they're talking about. Me? I'd probably just end up accidentally triggering a fire alarm or setting off the confetti machine at an inopportune moment. Still cocktails on the trading floor sound rather splendid! Just promise not to leave me alone with the 'Buy' and 'Sell' buttons.