Tesla's Robotaxi: A Teddy Bear Driving a Car or a Glimpse into the Future?

The Big Reveal: Like unwrapping a Christmas Present!

Right then! Tesla had a launch for its Robotaxi. A big to do like when I try to make toast but end up with a smoky kitchen. They said it was supervised only for some important people and had maybe 10 or 20 cars. Imagine that! My Mini would be jealous. But the stock went up! A bit like when I win the tombola then lose the ticket.

Smooth Moves or a Comedy Sketch?

Some clever clogs said it was a success. One chap called Dan Ives said it was “extremely smooth” and even better than Waymo! Blimey! But then like when I try to paint my flat things got messy. One Robotaxi went on the wrong side of the road. Another stopped in the middle of the traffic. And one dropped off a passenger right in the middle of an intersection! It sounds like one of my driving lessons!

Is it a Robotaxi or a Toddler with Wheels?

A clever analyst named Gordon Johnson said it was a “Robotaxi infant” that needed someone to watch it all the time. Sounds a bit like Teddy doesn't it? I have to keep an eye on him so he doesn’t get into too much mischief especially around the marmalade.

Promises Promises: Musk's Master Plan

Elon Musk has been saying for ages that Teslas are nearly fully automatic like my automatic potato peeler (which usually explodes). He said everyone could make money by letting their Tesla drive around while they’re at work! By 2020 he said there would be a million Robotaxis. Like when I say I’ll tidy my flat... still waiting on that one!

Cameras vs. Lasers: A Right Old Pickle!

Tesla does things differently. They use cameras while everyone else uses lasers and radars. Musk thinks software can do it all. A bit like when I think a rubber band can fix everything. It usually doesn't. This expert Ed Niedermeyer said it was like teaching a dog to drive. Impressive but not exactly ready for a taxi service!

The Future is Here (Maybe): Austin's Robotaxi Show

Tesla only let the Robotaxis drive in a part of Austin. Like when I only clean the bits of my flat that people can see. This Niedermeyer bloke thinks Tesla is showing that Waymo’s way is better. Still some people love Teslas. One chap Darko Protich said he believed in them. Another Michael Simon wants to work for Tesla. Good luck to them! As for me I think I’ll stick to driving my Mini... for now.