A Deal is a Deal!
Right so I saw this thing about Nomura a big company from Japan buying another company called Macquarie. Apparently they're spending lots of money $1.8 billion! That’s like… a thousand teddies! They're buying Macquarie's stuff in America and Europe. I wonder if they’ll let me drive my Mini in their fancy offices? Maybe I can 'accidentally' swap their important papers with my shopping list. What do you think Teddy?
Strategic Growth? More Like Strategic Napping!
Nomura says they want to grow. They call it 'strategic growth.' Sounds like a good excuse for a nap to me! Anyway it seems they want to have even more money to play with. Something about managing assets whatever that means. If I had that much money I'd buy a lifetime supply of baked beans and maybe a new steering wheel for my Mini after... after that unfortunate incident. You know the one with the armchair on top.
Australia Stays Put...For Now!
Macquarie will still have its things in Australia where they serve their uh clients. What does one even do with clients? Do they need feeding? Maybe a nice cup of tea and a biscuit? I make a rather good cuppa even if I do say so myself though sometimes I use the electric kettle a bit too enthusiastically.
Collaborate? Like Me and Irma Gobb!
So these two companies are going to 'collaborate.' That sounds like when Irma Gobb tries to 'help' me with things. It usually ends with a rubber chicken in the toilet or my Mini mysteriously ending up on the roof. Still at least they're sharing...unlike when I tried to sneak an extra sausage roll at the bakery.
Minimal Impact! Just Like My Cooking
They say this whole thing won't change much. Minimal impact. That's what they said when I 'redecorated' my flat with paint and a fire extinguisher. Turns out brown isn’t the best colour for EVERYTHING. Hopefully this deal will be less messy than my DIY projects.
Nomura's Everywhere! Just Like My Mini!
Nomura is in lots of countries like… 30! That's a lot of places for a Mr. Bean to visit! Maybe I could hitch a ride in one of their briefcases? Teddy would love to see the world wouldn't he? But maybe I should stick to the local park for now. After all I still need to figure out how to get that shopping trolley out of the tree.
Comments
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rs1982
Collaborate? Sounds like a competition to me!
jakomo131
Perhaps they need a quality control specialist? I'm available!
psufootball
Strategic growth? Sounds like an excuse to eat more cake!
ibmountain
I hope this means more baked beans for everyone!
Charlieturtle
This reminds me of the time I tried to paint my house...
geacoman
I wonder if they have a suggestion box. I have ideas.