Crikey! Google's New AI 'Ultra' Plan: More Money Than Sense?

Beans vs. Bots: A Right Royal Pickle!

Right so I was just enjoying a lovely cup of tea with Teddy when I saw this news about Google. Apparently they're charging a fortune – more than I've ever spent on jellybeans! – for something called 'Google AI Ultra'. Sounds a bit like my car only far less reliable I suspect. 'Cutting edge,' they say. Makes you wonder if they are thinking of cutting hedges after all those need to be taken care of too!

Two Hundred and Forty Nine Ninety Nine?! For What?!

Two hundred and forty nine ninety nine a month! Blimey! That's enough for a year's supply of marmalade sandwiches! Apparently it gets you access to all their fancy computer brains – 'Gemini' this 'Flow' that. Sounds like a load of hocus pocus if you ask me. But if it's got something to do with cooking eggs in a kettle now we're talking business!

Terabytes of... What Now?

They're also throwing in 30 terabytes of storage. Terabytes! Is that anything like a Terry's Chocolate Orange? Because to be honest that sounds far more useful to me. Thirty of those would be a great way to spend some time with Teddy that's for sure.

VIP Pass to Nowhere?

This Mr. Woodward bloke is calling it a 'VIP pass'. Right well I had a VIP pass once. It got me front row seats to the local brass band. Turned out they were out of tune. 'Sometimes the best laid plans...' as I like to say before things go completely wrong!

Robots Taking Over? Not on My Watch!

They say it's because people are using these 'AI Chatbots' instead of Google. Good grief! Are we all going to be replaced by robots? I need to keep my trousers up somehow!

Is It Worth It? A Bean's Eye View

So is Google AI Ultra worth the dosh? Well I'm not convinced. Unless it can polish my Mini do the dishes and make a cracking cup of tea I'll stick to what I know: a bit of ingenuity a rubber band and Teddy by my side. Remember 'If you can't see the join it's perfect' – even if it's a bit dodgy like this new AI stuff.