Apple's Earnings: A Right Royal Mess? Teddy Thinks So!

The Numbers Game: Is It All Just Gobbledegook?

Right so Apple's been doing this thing called 'earnings'. Sounds like something you get for doing a good job like when Mrs. Wicket gives me an extra biscuit! Apparently they made lots of money – billions even! More than everyone thought except for one bit. It's like when I try to make a sandwich; always a bit left out. The numbers all looked a bit jumbled up. EPS this and Revenue that. I prefer counting with my fingers thank you very much. It’s much easier than all these decimal points. Honestly sometimes I think I understand Scrabble better than this!

iPhone Sales: A Jolly Good Show!

The iPhone that shiny thing everyone's glued to did rather well! Like when I managed to parallel park my Mini without knocking over any bins. A surprising success! Seems everyone still wants one even though mine is perfectly fine and still makes calls... sometimes. Though I must admit the new ones do have a rather impressive camera. Perhaps I could take better pictures of Teddy. He deserves that much!

The Dreaded 'Services': A Bit of a Fumble?

Ah 'Services'. Sounds awfully formal doesn't it? Like afternoon tea at Buckingham Palace. Apparently this part of Apple all the things like music and iCloud and such didn't do quite as well as expected. A bit like when I try to paint a room and end up with more paint on myself than the walls. Still Mr. Cook seemed quite pleased overall. He probably just needs a nice cup of tea and a sit down. Always does the trick that!

Tariffs! Oh The Horror!

Tariffs! Sounds like something you should spread on toast but it seems they are rather annoying taxes that make everything cost more. Apparently Apple is having a bit of a kerfuffle with these but they’re being ever so clever about it making things in other places. A bit like when I try to avoid paying extra for parking; always find a sneaky way around it! Though I do hope they don't start making iPhones out of rubber bands and paper clips. That wouldn't do at all!

China and India: Adventures in Faraway Lands!

Mr. Cook is jetting off to India to make iPhones and Vietnam. Sounds like a jolly good adventure! Maybe I should tag along? I could pack my toothbrush Teddy and a few marmalade sandwiches. Always prepared you know. Apparently China is still important but maybe not as important as it used to be. Like when I try to decide between beans on toast or cheese on toast; both are delicious but one is always slightly more appealing!

The Future: Bigger and Better (Hopefully)!

So what does it all mean? Well Apple is going to keep making things and selling them hopefully for lots of money. They’re even giving people more money back which is rather generous. A bit like when I find a ten pound note in my coat pocket! All in all it sounds like they’re muddling through just like the rest of us. Now where did I put my teddy bear?