Holy Birthday Bash, Batman! Trump's Army Parade Could Cost More Than My Movie Budget!

Waah! What Did You Just Say?

Hello everybody! Jackie Chan here! So I'm reading this news about a big parade in Washington D.C. for the U.S. Army's 250th birthday – and it's also happening on President Trump's birthday! Double the celebration double the… *ahem*… potential for things to go boom! But hold on a second… $45 million?! That's more than some of my movie budgets! And believe me those movies involve a LOT of explosions and broken furniture haha!

5,000 Soldiers Sleeping Where?

They're planning to have 6,600 soldiers 50 airplanes and 150 vehicles! Wah! That's a lot of metal and manpower! And where are all these soldiers going to sleep? In the General Services Administration building or the Agriculture Department building? It's like 'Night at the Museum' but with more camouflage. I can just imagine them all trying to make their beds with bayonets. Very funny!

Peanuts?! More Like Cashews!

Now Trump says the cost is 'peanuts.' Peanuts?! My friend those are some seriously expensive peanuts! More like… cashews! Or maybe even macadamia nuts! You know I once had a scene in a movie where I had to fight a guy using only a bag of peanuts. It was cheaper than hiring extras I tell you!

2018 Deja Vu!

And get this: they tried to do this parade thing back in 2018 but they cancelled it because of the cost! Now they want to do it again? Are we sure this isn't a scene from 'Rush Hour 5'? Tucker Lee we got a case! This time its money!

Fireworks and Fighting!

I hear they're also planning fireworks military demonstrations and musical performances. Sounds like a proper celebration! But I'm thinking maybe we could add a little… Jackie Chan touch. Instead of military demonstrations maybe some martial arts exhibitions? I'm just saying! Think of the ratings!

Good or Bad?

At the end of the day celebrating the Army's 250th birthday is a good thing. But maybe just maybe there are better ways to spend $45 million. Maybe build a few schools? Or fund some charities? I don't know I'm just a humble actor who likes to climb buildings and break things. But even *I* know that sometimes the best way to celebrate is with a little bit of common sense! Okay bye bye!