Amazon Goes Barking Mad: Now Delivering Pet Meds! (And I Thought I Was the Only One Doing Stunts!)

Holy Toledo! Amazon's Gone to the Dogs (And Cats and Hamsters...)!

Okay okay settle down everyone! It's Jackie! So I hear Amazon is now selling pet meds online. Pet meds! That's like 'pow pow' straight to your doorstep for Fido and Whiskers. Back in my day if a dog needed medicine you chased it around the village with a spoon! Now it's all 'add to cart' and bam! Delivered. Times they are a changin' faster than I can climb a building!

Two to Six Days? I Can Climb a Building Faster!

Vetsource is handling the delivery and they say it takes two to six days. Two to six days! I could film a whole movie in that time! Remember *Rumble in the Bronx*? I got all those broken bones in less time than it takes to get Fluffy's flea medication! Amazon you need to call me. I'll show you how to get those meds delivered at *police story* speed! No insurance.

Prime Time for Pets: Discounts and Deliveries!

And of course Prime members get discounts and free delivery. Ah discounts! Makes me think of all the bargains I used to find at the market when I was a little rascal. Now people just click a button. But hey if it keeps the furry friends happy who am I to complain? Just remember with great discounts comes great responsibility... to make sure you’re giving your pet the right stuff!

Chewy vs. Amazon: A Battle of the Titans (But Hopefully Less Painful Than One of My Fight Scenes)!

So this means Amazon is going head to head with Chewy and Walmart. It’s like a *first strike* showdown but instead of martial arts it’s pharmaceuticals! I just hope it doesn’t get too messy. I’ve seen enough messy situations in my movies thank you very much!

Amazon's Healthcare Empire: From Pills to Poodles!

Amazon's building this whole healthcare empire right? They bought One Medical they got PillPack and now they're peddling pet prescriptions. Next thing you know they’ll be offering acupuncture for goldfish! It’s like that scene in *Who Am I?* where I'm uncovering layer after layer of a conspiracy. Only this time it's all about healthcare... and kibble.

Vulcan Robot 'Feels': Can It Feel the Love for a Wet Nose?

I read somewhere that Amazon has a Vulcan robot that can 'feel' what it touches. Amazing! Can it feel the unconditional love a dog gives you? Can it feel the sharp claws of an angry cat? Probably not. But hey progress is progress! Just promise me they won't start replacing stuntmen with robots. I still need to earn a living!