Tesla's Earnings are Raw! Is Elon Musk Cooking Up a Disaster?!

Bloody Hell What a Disaster!

Right let's get straight to it. Tesla's Q1 earnings? An absolute SHAMBLES! We're talking a 20% drop in automotive revenue. 20 PERCENT! That's not just a bad day at the office; that's a bloody culinary catastrophe! Earnings per share? Don't even get me started. 27 cents versus the estimated 39. Are you taking the p*ss? It's like serving a Wellington that's still mooing! Revenue down profit margins thinner than my patience on a busy Saturday night. What is going on?!

Model Y? More Like Model WHY Bother?

Apparently they needed to 'update lines' for a 'refreshed' Model Y. Refreshed? It better be more than a new paint job or I'm calling it a donkey! They're blaming lower selling prices and incentives too. Incentives? That's just a fancy word for desperation. If you need to bribe people to buy your cars you've already lost the game. You call this a f*cking plan?!

Trump Tariffs: A Political Hell's Kitchen

And don't even get me started on this political bollocks. Elon's spending more time in the White House than he is in his own damn factory! Trump's tariffs are causing havoc increasing costs for everything from automotive glass to battery cells. It's like trying to make a soufflé in a hurricane. Utterly pointless and guaranteed to end in disaster. They are running around like headless chickens.

Stock Crash: Tesla Shares Take a Dive!

Down 41% this year? 41%?! That's not a dip; it's a bloody freefall! The worst quarterly drop since 2022? Someone get the smelling salts! The markets are clearly saying 'This dish is not fit for consumption.' And let's be honest they're probably right. If you keep serving up mediocrity people will go elsewhere. It is all going to the dogs.

Robotaxis and Political Mayhem: A Recipe for Ruin!

Robotaxis? They're lagging behind Waymo. Waymo! Tesla promised a launch in Austin Texas but frankly I'll believe it when I see it. And the political mess? Protests in the U.S. and Europe because Musk is cosying up to some dodgy political parties? It's like putting anchovies on a birthday cake disgusting and a complete own goal. All this political involvement isn't helping their stock.

Wake Up Elon! It's Time to Get Your Head Out of Your Arse!

So what's the verdict? Tesla's in a right state. They need to sort out their production get a handle on costs and for God's sake stop playing politics! Stop the nonsense and make things happen! It's time to get the basics right or they'll be facing a kitchen nightmare of epic proportions. This is an undercooked over hyped disaster! Now where's the damn lamb sauce?!