Real ID Deadline Madness Are You an Idiot Sandwich?!

Wake Up You Donkey!

Right listen up you lot! May 7th! Mark it on your bloody calendars! It's the Real ID deadline and if you haven't got your act together you're going to be stuck at security like a bunch of Michelin tire Michelin men! Are you telling me you lot have been sleeping under a rock and didn't even know? The Real ID Act was introduced in 2005 tightening our security after that bloody awful September 11th. And they've been pushing the deadline for donkeys years! It's crunch time now and if you plan on flying in the U.S. get your Real ID or grab your passport.

Got a Star? Or Are You Just Blind?

Now for those of you who are utterly clueless – and let's face it there are plenty – take a look at your driver's license or state ID. See that little star in the corner? If you do congratulations you're not a complete moron. But if you don't see it then Houston we have a problem. You're not getting on that plane without a proper ID and you'll be left behind with the other tools.

The DMV: A Hellhole of Bureaucracy!

Of course getting a Real ID isn't exactly a walk in the park. The DMVs are already swamped with requests. Imagine the DMV as a restaurant I would go to! This is a disaster! I've heard stories of limited appointments and longer lines than a bloody queue for the loo at a football match. According to Nick Ewen at The Points Guy it's chaos out there. New Jersey doesn't have any appointments for those not eligible for renewal in the next three months. You've got to be quicker than that or you'll be stuck in the queue!

Don't Be a Bloody Idiot: Come Prepared!

So if you manage to snag an appointment don't turn up like a complete idiot. Check the requirements for your state. The Department of Homeland Security has a map on their website with links to every state's DMV. Use it! It's not rocket science. In most states a Real ID won't cost you extra but some places like Pennsylvania will sting you for an additional fee. Check your state's DMV for costs.

Career Change? Is the Food Better Elsewhere?

And while you're at it if you're tired of your current job and fancy a change CNBC has a course on how to change careers. Maybe you'll find something you're actually good at! Who knows you might even find a job you like more than eating! Just pre register and use the discount to get 30% off through May 13 2025. Now stop faffing about and sort your life out!

Get Your Act Together Now!

Seriously people don't be a bloody idiot! Get your Real ID sorted or you'll be hearing from me at the airport. And trust me you don't want that. Now off you go! And don't forget to sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter for tips and tricks for success. You might need it more than you think. Chop chop!