Oracle's Cloud Kitchen is Cookin'! (And It's Not Raw Chicken, For Once!)

Bloody Hell They Actually Did It!

Right listen up you lot! Oracle yes *that* Oracle has actually managed to pull their finger out and deliver some bloody good results. Earnings per share at $1.70? Revenue at $15.9 billion? Exceeding expectations are we? For once it's not a case of 'Where's the lamb sauce?!' but rather 'Where's the bloody champagne?!'. They've cooked up something special and I'm genuinely surprised. Donkeys!

Cloud Growth: It's Not Just a Fluffy Dream Anymore

This cloud business it's not just some fancy garnish anymore is it? A whopping 11% year over year increase! Even I can appreciate that. And Safra Catz bless her is predicting cloud infrastructure revenue to increase by over 70% in fiscal year 2026. 70%! That's like turning a pile of dog food into a bloody Wellington! But let's see if they can actually deliver; promises are like pie crusts easily made easily broken.

Partnerships: Because Even Oracle Can't Do It Alone

Partnerships eh? Like Cleveland Clinic G42 even IBM getting in on the action. It's like herding cats I tell you! But if it means getting that AI delivery platform for healthcare sorted then fair enough. Even a Michelin starred chef needs a good team. And Temu moving to Oracle's cloud? Well that's just gravy isn't it? Still need to taste the gravy though. Don't want to end up with something bland like hospital food.

Capex: Spending Big to Get Bigger (Hopefully)

Now this is where things get interesting. Over $21 billion in capital expenditures for fiscal year 2025 and expecting over $25 billion for the next year? That's a lot of dough even for me! Ellison says demand is 'almost insatiable'. Well let's hope they're not biting off more than they can chew. It's like ordering the whole damn menu and then realizing you're full after the appetizer. Wasteful!

An Order They've Never Seen Before: Is It the Lamb Sauce?

An unnamed client ordering all available cloud capacity? All of it? That's a big bloody order! I've seen smaller wedding parties. They had to 'move things around' to accommodate. Let's hope they didn't just slap something together because if the service is as bad as some of the restaurants I've seen heads will roll! It better not be raw in the middle I am warning you!

Oracle's Shares: From Soggy Bottom to Rising Star?

Shares up 6% for the year? Not bad Oracle not bad at all. But don't get complacent! The S&P 500 is still ahead so you need to keep pushing. This cloud kitchen might be cooking now but the pressure is on to maintain the heat. One wrong move and it's back to being a donkey!