Is Trump Screwing Up Nintendo's New Console?! Pre-Orders Delayed!

A Bloody Mess Before We Even Start!

Right let's get one thing straight. I'm Gordon Ramsay not some bloody economist. But even I can see this is a disaster waiting to happen! Nintendo bless their little button mashing hearts has decided to delay pre orders for the Switch 2 in the US. Why? Because some tangerine faced twit decided to slap tariffs on everything coming from Asia! It's like ordering a soufflé and finding out it's been sat on by a donkey. Utterly unacceptable!

Where's the bloody Lamb Sauce? Oh Wait It's Tariffs!

Apparently these tariffs – thanks to the ex president may I add – are going to make everything more expensive. Nintendo's being all polite about it saying they need to 'assess the potential impact.' Assess my arse! They're shitting themselves and rightly so! Who in their right mind is going to pay a fortune for a console when they can barely afford a decent steak? It's an absolute joke!

Asia's Kitchen Nightmare!

Now the article says Nintendo made their original Switch in China and Vietnam. And guess what? Those are the countries getting hammered with these ridiculous tariffs! 46% on Vietnam? 54% on China? Are you having a laugh? It's like charging me extra for using salt in my own bloody restaurant! This is a recipe for disaster if I have ever seen one.

$450?! Are You Having a Laugh?

So Nintendo's already asking $450 for this new console a jump from the original’s $300. And they’re not saying if they’ll raise the price even further? I can already hear the gamers screaming from here! If the price jumps anymore they might as well call it the 'Nintendo Rip Off 2.' Consumers are going to think Nintendo has lost the plot! IT'S RAW!

50% Price Hike?! Absolute Donkey!

This trade group IPC reckons game console prices could rise by 50%. FIFTY PERCENT! That’s not a price hike that’s daylight robbery! You could buy a decent cut of wagyu beef for that kind of money! And you know what’s even worse? The Switch 2 comes out the same day this tariff nightmare hit the news. Coincidence? I think not! This reeks of a clusterfuck in the kitchen and someone needs to be fired.

What's Next? A Nintendo Apocalypse?

So there we have it. The Switch 2 potentially delayed potentially overpriced and all thanks to a bloody tariff war. It's a bigger faster version of the Switch 1 and it promises a new Mario Kart game. Will it be the success they hope for? At this rate I'd say the chances are slim. They better pull their finger out and get their act together because right now this whole situation is drier than a week old scone!