Is Trump About To Turn Up The Heat On Europe Again!?

What in the Bloody Hell is Going On?

Right let's get one thing straight this whole trade situation between the U.S. and the EU is more tangled than a plate of overcooked spaghetti. Apparently despite all the 'pleasantries' exchanged earlier this week the EU is bracing itself for more tariffs from across the pond. Honestly it's like watching two toddlers fight over a toy except the toy is billions of euros and the toddlers have nukes… metaphorically speaking of course. Trump's been moaning about the EU's trade treatment of the U.S. claiming they're the worst culprits. Seriously? Someone needs to check his palate because his taste in trade partners is clearly off.

Tit for Tat… Or is it Tarriff for Tariff?

So Washington slaps tariffs on steel and aluminum and the EU quite rightly retaliates with duties on over 20 billion euros worth of American tat. These countermeasures were then put on hold for 90 days. Ninety days! That's like giving a donkey three months to learn to bake a soufflé – utterly pointless! Olof Gill the EU's trade spokesperson bleating on about preferring negotiations to tariffs. No really? Who would've thought? It's like saying I prefer cooking with fresh ingredients to serving a plate of dog food. Duh!

A Two Way Street? More Like a Dead End.

Gill is whining that the US needs to define its position. It's clear isn't it? Trump wants a better deal or he'll throw his toys out of the pram. "The European Union has taken terrible advantage they don't take our food products they don't take our cars," he said. He's basically saying "Why isn't everyone buying my crap?" Maybe because it's crap Donald! The U.S. has decided to start investigating imports of pharmaceuticals and semiconductors. Honestly it never ends! It's like trying to find a decent chef in a reality TV show – a never ending parade of disappointment.

The Clock is Ticking You Donkey!

With a 90 day window looming Gill says that both parties need to achieve an outcome fast and that the EU is doing its part. It's not enough! Time is running out and everyone is going to suffer! What do they think they will just put on more tariffs on each other and all will be fine? This is absolute madness. The top exporting products from the EU to the US are medicinal and pharmaceutical goods road vehicles and machinery. They are not going to find substitutes so easily. This can not be solved with Twitter threads and social media rants!

Italy to the Rescue? Don't Hold Your Breath.

Enter Georgia Meloni Italy's Prime Minister who's off to meet Trump. Apparently she's the first European head of state to meet him since this tariff madness was paused. All eyes are on her can you imagine the pressure? Wolfango Piccoli from Teneo seems to think she might be able to revitalize transatlantic dialogue. Let's be honest that's a tall order. Trump's as predictable as a microwave lasagne and as stubborn as a donkey. Trump has previously called Meloni "a wonderful woman". I wonder if this "Wonderful woman" can whip Trump into a decent deal and tell him that he is acting like a spoiled brat. Don't hold your breath though!

Defense Spending? Now That's a Recipe for Disaster!

The talks could get even messier if Trump starts grilling Meloni about Italy's defense spending. Rome hasn't quite hit NATO's target of investing 2% of its GDP on security. Can you imagine the conversation? 'You're not spending enough! It's not good enough! Is this what you call defense?! It's bloody awful!' This has got the potential to be more explosive than a dodgy crème brûlée. Honestly this whole situation is a complete dumpster fire. Someone get a grip before it's all gone tits up!