Harvard to Trump Administration: Are You F***ing Kidding Me?!

Raw and Flipping Real

Right listen up you donut! As if I haven't got enough on my plate with bloody soufflés collapsing and finding pubes in the gnocchi now I have to hear about this utter shambles. Harvard for f***'s sake is basically telling the Trump administration to shove it where the sun don't shine. And frankly good for them! Nearly $9 billion on the line? That's a lot of bloody lamb sauce!

DEI? More Like D E L ICIOUS Inclusion!

This Trump bloke wants Harvard to scrap their DEI programs? Are you having a laugh? Diversity Equity and Inclusion are the secret bloody ingredients to a good culture not just some garnish you can chuck in the bin. Without it you're left with a bland tasteless mess. Honestly it's like serving a Wellington without the duxelles. Utterly pointless!

Screening Students? More Like Screening for Brains!

Screening international students for 'ideological concerns?' What a load of bollocks! Are we back in the bloody Dark Ages? You want to screen for something screen for talent for passion for the bloody desire to learn! Not whether they agree with some half baked political ideology. That's just mental!

Garber's Got Guts!

Harvard President Alan Garber's note? BANG ON! "No government should dictate what universities can teach." Bloody right! It's like telling me I can't use truffle oil. Unacceptable! He’s standing up for academic freedom and that’s more important than any amount of money. Well almost…

Antisemitism: A Real Problem Not a Political Football

Look antisemitism is a serious issue and it needs to be addressed. But using it as a bloody excuse to interfere with academic freedom? That's just disgusting. This is not Hell’s Kitchen it’s a bloody University! Some politicians are thick as pig sh*t!

Final Verdict: Harvard's Lamb Sauce is Safe (For Now)!

So Harvard's basically told the Trump administration to get stuffed. Will they lose the $9 billion? Possibly. But they've stood up for what's right. And you know what? That's worth more than any amount of bloody money. Now if you'll excuse me I have a risotto to salvage. It's currently looking like something a dog threw up.