Donald Trump's NATO Summit: Is This Donkey Finally Cooking Something?

Wake Up! It's Bloody 9 AM in the ET Kitchen!

Right listen up you lot! They tell me that the stream is supposed to be starting at 9 a.m. ET. 9 a.m.! Are you telling me that Donald Trump is actually punctual for once? Don't just stand there like a bunch of lemons refresh the bloody page if you don't see anything. I've seen slugs move faster than some of these streams load. Honestly sometimes I think the internet is run by a bunch of panini heads!

The Donald Does the Dutch: A Recipe for Disaster?

So it seems Donald Trump is flapping his gums again at NATO's annual summit in the Netherlands. The Netherlands! Land of tulips and windmills... and now possibly another diplomatic incident. I'm half expecting him to serve up a plate of raw chicken and call it haute cuisine. Let's hope he doesn't start yelling at any world leaders. I can't stand it when people start panicking.

Ceasefire?! More Like a Flash in the Pan!

Apparently this little chat comes just days after Trump announced a ceasefire between Israel and Iran. A ceasefire? Is this some kind of a joke? That's like saying I'm going to open a vegan restaurant! I'll believe it when I see it and even then I'll probably find a bloody hair in it. Still I suppose it's better than nothing although I've seen better peace deals served up in a school cafeteria.

CNBC on YouTube? More Like CNBC on You Snooze!

And of course they want you to subscribe to CNBC on YouTube. Subscribe? What am I a bloody influencer? Honestly if I had a quid for every time someone asked me to subscribe to something I'd be richer than... well richer than Donald Trump probably. But seriously if you want to know what's going on you're better off watching me cook a decent bloody meal. At least it'll be edible!

Is This Donkey About to Cook Something Delicious?

So the question is is this summit going to be a triumph or a tragedy? Will Trump actually say something coherent or will he just serve up another plate of word salad? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure I'll be watching with a bloody magnifying glass. I expect perfection and I won't settle for anything less. Because at the end of the day we're all just trying to make something delicious out of the ingredients we've got.

The Proof is in the Pudding and the Diplomacy!

Let's be brutally honest the man has the communication skills of a toddler trying to explain quantum physics. All I am saying is that diplomacy is an art a delicate balance of flavors and finesse. Let's see if Trump can serve up a masterpiece at this NATO summit or if it will be another inedible disaster that leaves everyone with a bad taste in their mouth. The world is watching and I'm ready to give my brutally honest verdict! And remember you need to have passion to cook!