Credit Card Rates Are Cooking Up a Financial Disaster: Are You an Idiot Sandwich?

Bloody Hell What's Cooking?

Right let's get one thing straight. These credit card companies are taking the piss! Interest rates edging higher even with the Fed on the sidelines? It's like serving a risotto that's still crunchy. Utterly unacceptable! According to LendingTree these vultures have jacked up rates for three months straight hitting levels we haven't seen since last December. And Bankrate says the average APR is over 20%. Are you having a laugh? This is not a Michelin star experience; it's a financial bloody nightmare!

Crippling Rates? More Like Crippling Incompetence!

Clifford Cornell some 'certified financial planner,' is saying these rates are 'crippling.' No bloody duh! It's like telling me a burnt steak is overcooked. What I want to know is what are YOU lot doing about it? Standing around like lemons while your debt compounds faster than a bloody soufflé collapses? This is financial amateur hour I swear!

From Stable to Shambles: A Decade of Disaster

We had the Credit CARD Act in 2009 things were stable ish. Then the Fed started hiking rates in 2015 and it all went to pot. APRs doubled in a decade from 12% to this current disgrace. It's like watching someone ruin a perfectly good Beef Wellington. Utterly heartbreaking! And now even though the Fed's cooled its jets these banks are STILL raising rates? You DONKEYS!

Banks Protecting Themselves? More Like Preying on the Weak!

Matt Schulz from LendingTree says banks are 'mitigating their exposure' against borrowers who might default. Translation: they're squeezing every last penny out of you lot while you're down. And Charlie Wise from TransUnion chirps in about consumers seeking credit in 'uncertain times.' So they're basically saying you're all so thick you run to credit cards when things get tough? Honestly it's like watching lambs run to the slaughter! Where's the bloody sense?

The Solution? Don't Be a Bloody Idiot!

Only you absolute muppets carrying a balance month to month are feeling the burn of these high APRs. And it only applies to new loans. So if you're drowning in debt waiting for the Fed to cut rates is like waiting for Godot. It's not going to bloody happen! As Wise says a couple of basis points is bugger all. You need to take control!

Get Your Act Together or Get Out of My Kitchen (Err Finances)!

Schulz is right: you lot have more power than you think. Get a zero interest balance transfer card consolidate your debts with a personal loan. And for the love of all that is holy pay your bloody balances on time and keep your utilization rate down. It's not rocket science! Otherwise you deserve the financial hell you're in. Now get out of here and sort your lives out. Before I lose my rag completely! And subscribe to CNBC on YouTube you numpties!