Canada Goose Takes Flight...Or Does It? A Ramsay Roast!

Earning's Report: A Bloody Good Start!

Right so Canada Goose those parka pushers their stock price jumps 20%. Twenty percent! What is this amateur hour? Seems they've cooked up some figures that Wall Street actually swallowed. They beat analysts' estimates – finally! It's about time they got something right for God's sake! This isn't some Mickey Mouse operation; it's supposed to be luxury!

The Dreaded Forecast: Where's the bloody Vision?

But hold on a minute. Before we start popping champagne they've pulled their 2026 outlook. 'Macroeconomic uncertainty'? Is that all they've got? That's weaker than overcooked asparagus! What are they a bunch of blithering idiots? Uncertainty is the spice of life! You adapt you innovate you bloody well conquer! 'Dynamic consumer spending patterns'? Sounds like a load of posh tosh to me! Get a grip!

Tariff Tango: A Right Royal Mess

Tariffs tariffs bloody tariffs! Apparently most of their gear is safe thanks to some fancy trade agreement. But a bit comes from Europe and faces higher tariffs. They reckon it'll have a 'minimal financial impact'. Minimal? MINIMAL?! Every penny counts in this game you donut! They say they have navigated these before successfully? Well they better remember that or they'll be hearing from me! I see them going down like a soufflé with no air. Pathetic!

Numbers Don't Lie...Or Do They?

Revenue is up 7.4%. Okay not bad but is that the best they can do? Net income is up too thank God. But still let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's a bloody competitive market out there. There's a lot more at stake if they don't play their cards right! It's as simple as that.

Luxury in Lockdown: Is the Goose Cooked?

The luxury sector is showing signs of weakness? Well I'm shocked! Shocked I tell you! LVMH Burberry Gucci all whining about sales slowing down? These are supposed to be the best the brightest! Canada Goose with their thousand dollar parkas wants to expand into rain jackets and summer gear. Good luck with that! It needs to be done to perfection. If they don't deliver they can get to F@#k! I'd be terrified too if I was them. How is a parka going to be as profitable as a jacket in the summer?

AI Try On: A Gimmick or Genius?

They've launched an eyewear collection online with AI powered virtual try on tools. Virtual try on? What is this a bloody video game? I suppose they're trying to be innovative trying to stay relevant. But it better not be a load of bollocks! This better translate to REAL sales not just a fancy tech demo or somebody is going to be in deep sh*t!