Onsemi and Allegro Did WHAT?! You Won't Believe What Happened Next!

Giggity Giggity No Acquisition!

Well hello there! It's your pal Glen Quagmire reporting live from the front lines of... uh... corporate chip deals! You see Onsemi a big ol' chip company tried to buy Allegro MicroSystems for a cool $6.9 billion. I know what you're thinking: "Giggity! That's a lot of dates!" But hold your horses fellas. Allegro wasn't exactly throwin' their skirts up if you catch my drift. They basically told Onsemi 'No way Jose!' or you know whatever the microchip equivalent of that is.

She Said NO! (Twice!)

Allegro turned down Onsemi's advances not once but TWICE! Can you believe it? It's like when I try to woo Cheryl Tiegs... or Christie Brinkley... or that one time I tried with Mort Goldman! They just weren't interested even after Onsemi sweetened the deal. I mean I get it. Sometimes a guy just isn't your type. But $6.9 billion? That's a lot of 'types' you could explore if you ask me. Giggity!

Onsemi Throws in the Towel (and the Chips)

So Onsemi CEO Hassane El Khoury bless his heart finally said 'Alright alright you win!' He basically said Allegro's board was being all stuck up and wouldn't even explore the possibility. It's like when I try to get Lois to go to the Quahog Drive In. She always says 'Glen I'm married!' as if that's ever stopped me before. But I digress. Onsemi pulled the plug. No giggity for them I guess.

Allegro Keeps Playing Hard to Get

And Allegro? Well they were too busy counting their chips (pun intended!) to even comment. Classic move ladies. Play hard to get and the billions will come a knockin'. It's the Quagmire way baby! Only I usually end up with a restraining order. Giggity!

Automotive Industry Left in the Dust

Now this whole chip kerfuffle was supposed to be about boosting Onsemi's presence in the automotive industry. Makes sense right? Cars need chips I need women the world keeps spinning. But now? Who knows what's gonna happen! Maybe they'll try to buy out the Weinermobile. Now THAT'S an acquisition I could get behind. Giggity!

What's a Guy to Do?

So there you have it. The deal is dead and I'm left wondering what could have been. Maybe Onsemi should have tried sending Allegro flowers... or a lifetime supply of Viagra. Hey it worked for me once! Anyway I'm off to find a new corporate drama to report on. And maybe a hot tub. Giggity! Quagmire out!