Giggity! Trump Sends More Troops to California as Newsom Sues! Is This a Party or a Political Ploy?

Giggity Giggity Another 2,000 Troops!

Well hello there! Your favorite horndog Glen Quagmire reporting live from… well my couch but still! Word on the street – or should I say the boulevard – is that President Trump bless his… heart has decided California needs a little more 'muscle.' Apparently another 2,000 National Guard troops are heading to Los Angeles. Giggity! I wonder if any of them are single? Asking for a friend… or ya know me. Giggity!

Newsom's Got a Case of the Mondays (and the Lawsuits)!

Now Governor Newsom that handsome devil isn't too thrilled about this. He's actually suing Trump and that Pete Hegseth fella saying this whole thing is just an ego trip for the President. Can you imagine? 'This isn't about public safety. It's about stroking a dangerous President's ego,' Newsom said. Sounds like someone's been watching too much of the *real* adult television if you catch my drift! Giggity!

Marines Oh My! A Temporary Distraction?

But wait there's more! Before the extra Guard arrives we've got 700 Marines hitting the scene. They're supposed to be there temporarily you know just holding down the fort while the Guard gets its act together. Marines in L.A.? That's like a wet dream wrapped in a…well you get the picture. I wonder if they need any help with…reconnaissance. Giggity! Giggity! Giggity!

No Food No Water Just Politics?

Newsom is also claiming these poor troops aren't even getting fed! 'Given no food or water,' he says. Talk about a bad date! Only 300 are actually doing anything; the rest are just sitting around in buildings twiddling their thumbs. Sounds like a typical Monday night except you know with more camo. It's worse than the time I tried to cook a romantic dinner and accidentally set the kitchen on fire! That was… awkward. Giggity.

ACLU Sounds the Alarm: Are Marines Ready for Protests?

The ACLU is raising a stink too saying these Marines aren't trained to handle protests. 'Laughable if the situation weren't so alarming,' they say. Well I'll tell you what *is* alarming: the price of gas these days! But seriously folks is this a recipe for disaster? I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone pull a Peter Griffin move! Giggity

Trump Threatens to Arrest Newsom! A Real Life Episode?

And hold onto your hats folks because Trump actually said he'd support arresting Newsom! 'I would do it if I were Tom. I think it's great,' he declared. Is this real life or just a really messed up episode of well anything? Next thing you know we'll be seeing Stewie plotting world domination or Peter running for mayor. Oh wait he already did that. Giggity! Gotta love this country!