Giggity No More for Buffett: Abel Takes the Stage at Berkshire's Bash!

No More Buffett Buffet? What?!

Alright alright alright! Glen Quagmire here your favorite wingman and purveyor of all things pleasurable. And let me tell you this news about Warren Buffett stepping down from the Berkshire Hathaway stage is a real buzzkill... almost as bad as running out of Viagra. Becky Quick from CNBC is reporting that the 'Woodstock of Capitalism' is getting a makeover. Seems like the old dog is finally ready to let a new pup sniff around... if you catch my drift. Giggity!

Abel: The New Cock of the Walk!

So who's this Greg Abel fella taking over the reins? Apparently he's been running Berkshire's utility business which let's be honest sounds about as exciting as watching paint dry. But hey maybe he's got a secret weapon! Maybe he knows how to 'release the Kraken' in the boardroom! Giggity! My kind of guy.

Buffett's Got a Case of Blue Balls!

Now Buffett is still going to be there lurking in the shadows like Herbert the Pervert but he won't be taking questions from shareholders. Talk about premature retirement! Poor guy probably just wants to spend more time counting his money and… who knows? But make no mistake the game has changed baby. Giggity!

350 Billion Reasons to Pay Attention Gigidy!

We're talking about a company sitting on a pile of cash bigger than Peter Griffin's gut. $350 billion folks! That's enough to buy a lifetime supply of… well let's just say a guy could have a *lot* of fun with that kind of money. Abel's got a big responsibility and I'm sure he's hoping to prove he's not just some "number cruncher" and that he can "handle" it all Giggity!

Still Streaming Exclusively on CNBC: At Least There's That!

Thank goodness CNBC is still covering the event. I wouldn't want to miss any of the… financial insights! I'll be watching with my binoculars hoping to catch a glimpse of some Berkshire Hathaway honeys. You know for research purposes giggity!

Alright!

In conclusion change is coming to Berkshire Hathaway. Will it be as exciting as a night out with Glen Quagmire? Probably not. But hey maybe Abel will surprise us. Until then I'll be here ready to offer my… services to anyone who needs them. Giggity!