Giggity! Iran and Israel Throw Down, Nuclear Talks Canceled!

Missiles Away! (And I Hope They're Not Pointed at Me)

Well hello there! Quagmire here reporting live (and slightly terrified) from… well not the Middle East thank goodness. But I'm glued to the news like Peter is to a bag of chips! Apparently Iran launched missiles at Israel. Seems like those wacky Israelis have been poking the bear one too many times. As the IDF says Iranian missiles are inbound! I hope they all get intercepted wouldn't want to be in the splash zone.

Operation Rising Lion? More Like Operation 'My Pants Just Got Tighter!'

Israel bless their hearts called their offensive "Operation Rising Lion." Giggity! You know that sounds like something I'd name a… well never you mind! Anyway they say they're hitting Iran's nuclear sites and trying to degrade their missile capabilities. Sounds like a good way to make some enemies but hey what do I know? I'm just a humble pilot with a healthy appreciation for the ladies... and avoiding international conflicts especially the kind where I have to "duck and cover" not the kind where I get to ahem never mind!

Talks? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Talks!

Speaking of avoiding things those nuclear negotiations between the U.S. and Iran? Cancelled! Apparently blowing things up is more important than sitting down and hashing things out. Reminds me of the time I tried to reason with a girl who caught me with her twin sister. Some situations just call for a swift exit! But seriously diplomacy is key folks. Violence is usually the incorrect answer. (I say while nervously adjusting my flight helmet).

Trump's Two Cents (Worth Every Penny?)

Oh and you know who had to weigh in? The Donald! He's all like "Iran better make a deal before there's nothing left!" Says the U.S. has the best military equipment and Israel knows how to use it. Well that's one way to negotiate. Though I'm not sure that's the kind of pickup line that would ever work on the ladies giggity!

Bombs Away! and Explosions in Tehran? Giggity!

So word on the street (or rather the internet) is that there were some explosions near Iran's Fordo nuclear enrichment site. That place is buried deep underground so those must have been some serious kabooms! And air defense systems activated in Tehran? Things are getting spicy! All I can say is I'm glad I'm nowhere near that teapot when it blows.

Commander in Chief Down! Oh the Humanity!

In even more surprising news it sounds like Israel may have taken out Iran's Revolutionary Guard Commander in Chief Hossein Salam. Ouch! That's gotta sting. It feels like something I read about in a James Bond novel but this is real life! Speaking of taking out people I once dated a lady whose ex wanted to fight me. Luckily I'm faster than Peter when he's chasing an ice cream truck.