Giggity! Elon Says He's Back in the Game: More Tesla, Less Twitter Twaddle!

Musk's Gotta Focus Giggity!

Well hello there! Quagmire here reporting live from the single's scene. Seems our boy Elon is having a bit of a 'come to Jesus' moment. After spending more time on Twitter than a horny teenager he's finally realized his other toys Tesla and SpaceX need some attention. Giggity! He claims he needs to be "super focused" on X AI and Tesla especially after X had a little uh oh moment. Speaking of 'super focused,' that's usually how I describe my aim on a Saturday night. Giggity!

Twitter Trouble: Did Someone Forget the Lubricant?

Apparently Twitter or 'X' as the young folks call it had a temporary outage. Now I know a thing or two about outages especially the kind that leave you stranded mid giggity. Musk is promising to spend 24/7 at work to fix things. Sounds like a rough deal but hey maybe he'll find a new secretary. Wink wink nudge nudge. Giggity!

From Trump to Tech: A Midlife Crisis in Real Time?

So it turns out Elon's been playing politics. Spending billions to elect Trump which is a waste am I right fellas? Now he is apparantly disillusioned. Maybe politics is like dating: exciting at first but then you realize they're all kinda crazy. I hear that. Giggity. Apparently Musk is going to spend "a lot less" on campaigns in the future. That's probably for the best. Let's leave the politics to those who enjoy the swamp.

Kaboom! Starship Needs to Stop Going Up in Flames

SpaceX is launching another Starship rocket. Third time's the charm right? The first two went up like my chances at a convent. Giggity! Musk's putting on an all hands livestream. Maybe he should just hire me to give it a pep talk. I'm great at motivating people… especially the ladies! Giggity!

Tesla's Tumbled: Did Politics Kill the Vibe?

Turns out people aren't too happy with Elon's political dabbling. Tesla sales in Europe are down 49%. Ouch! Protests at showrooms. I wonder if they'd protest if I showed up in a Tesla with a convertible top and a bottle of champagne. Giggity! Brand damage? Sounds like someone needs a good PR firm or maybe just a distraction. I know a few ladies who could help with that. Giggity!

Giggity Good Comeback?: The Musketeer Rides Again!

So Elon's back in the game. Focusing on his businesses. Leaving the politics to the politicians. Will he succeed? Will Tesla rebound? Will Starship finally reach orbit without turning into a giant fireball? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: it'll be interesting to watch. And if it's not I'll always have the ladies. Giggity!