Giggity! Cramer's Club Climbs as Stocks Get Lucky!

Benign CPI? Sounds Like a Quiet Night to Me!

Alright alright alright! This Jim Cramer fella is yapping about the stock market again and you know ol' Quagmire's gotta get in on this action. Apparently the U.S. stocks had a little 'how's your father' Wednesday thanks to a CPI report that was 'very benign.' Benign? Sounds like my kind of date! He says housing inflation is keepin' bond yields steady. I know a thing or two about steady hands...giggity! Then there's Trump doin' deals with China which he sez is subject to final approval. Hopefully it's got better terms than my last 'arrangement' with Mort Goldman. Giggity Giggity Giggity!

Starbucks in China? I'll Take a Tall Blonde Please!

Starbucks is up almost 4%. Why? They're sellin' a piece of their China operation. China you say? I hear they have interesting customs... Jim Cramer (this guy is starting to get on my nerves) says he told everyone to buy Starbucks when it was cheaper than a night at the Clam. If you listened to him he says 'Maybe you want to sell half up here'. That's what she said! He adds that he will not touch the stock because of Brian Nichol's ability to turn the company around. Turn the company around? That's what I did when I dated Joyce Kinney! Ha! I'll stick to coffee...and other things...

Disney Buys Hulu? Finally Some Decent Programming!

Disney is on the upswing too. Some fancy analyst said it could hit $125. Cramer agrees and who am I to argue? This Jim Cramer guy thinks the stock can go to $125. Sounds expensive but hey Disney's got princesses and everyone knows Quagmire likes princesses. They even bought the rest of Hulu. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go check what kind of movies and TV shows are available now that Disney owns Hulu...giggity.

Nuclear Vernova? Sounds Explosive!

And now he is going on about this GE Vernova stock. Says it's the best if you want to get into nuclear energy. Apparently it's hovering around $480. 'I wish they'd split the stock' Jim says. I know a few things that should be split… giggity. Jim Cramer initiated a position in GE Vernova back in May due to its importance in powering data centers. I'm not sure what a data center is but if it needs power I'm sure Quagmire can help. Oh yeah!

The Cramer Caveat: Terms Conditions and No Promises!

But here's the kicker: Cramer's got more disclaimers than Mort Goldman has ailments. No guarantees no promises just good old fashioned 'maybe you'll make money maybe you'll end up living in a cardboard box' advice. Still beats workin' am I right? Giggity!

Giggity Investing: Risky Business!

So there you have it. Stocks are up China's dealin' Disney's buyin' and Cramer's yappin'. Just remember folks investing is like dating: sometimes you win sometimes you end up alone with a pizza and a bad movie. Either way Quagmire's always here to help you spend your money...or find other ways to have a good time. Giggity! Oh yeah!