Run, Venmo, Run! Cash App Hits the Fan!

Like Peas and Carrots... or Maybe Not!

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates you never know what you're gonna get. And seems like that's true for these here peer to peer payment apps. You got Venmo owned by PayPal and Cash App owned by Block. They're kinda like peas and carrots tryin' to do the same thing but one's runnin' faster than the other. PayPal they were doin' alright even beat the numbers folks were guessin'. Block well they kinda stumbled like I did that time I was playin' ping pong with them Chinese fellas.

Venmo's Got Legs!

Mr. Alex Chriss the big cheese at PayPal he's got a plan for Venmo. He wants to make it bring in more money like when I invested in Apple. Venmo's makin' 20% more money than last year can you believe it? People are usin' them debit cards and movin' money faster than Lieutenant Dan chasin' a hurricane. Mr. Chriss says they're leanin' into Venmo and it's startin' to pay off. Kinda like when I leaned into that ping pong game!

Cash App's Got the Blues!

Now Mr. Jack Dorsey over at Block he's singin' a different tune. Cash App made a little more money but not as much as they thought they would. Mr. Dorsey says they weren't payin' enough attention like when I didn't know what Lieutenant Dan was doin' on that shrimp boat. He thinks some folks don't see Cash App as a real bank which makes 'em feel like they're stuck in the mud.

Borrowing and Sorrowing?

They're tryin' to get folks to borrow money with something called Cash App Borrow but Mr. Dorsey knows they gotta make sure people like usin' Cash App first. Like when Jenny didn't want to be with me I had to make her like me first. But sometimes no matter how hard you run some things just ain't meant to be.

One's Fast One's Slow… Like a Turtle and a Hare!

So there you have it. Venmo's runnin' like the wind and Cash App's kinda caught in the rain. It's like that turtle and the hare story but I can't remember who's who. All I know is Mama always said "Stupid is as stupid does," and I hope these apps ain't doin' anything too stupid.

And That's All I Have To Say About That!

Anyways that's all I got to say about that. I gotta go now Bubba's callin' about some new shrimp recipe. I hope these apps figure things out 'cause life's too short to be worryin' about where your money's goin'.