Harvard Beats Trump Ban Like Jenny Beat Me in Ping-Pong!

Run Harvard Run!

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates you never know what you're gonna get. Well Harvard got a real sour chocolate when the Trump folks tried to stop them from lettin' international students come to school. Seems like they got their knickers in a twist 'cause they thought Harvard was harborin' some 'anti American pro terrorist agitators.' I dunno about all that but it sure did make things messy.

Judge Judy (But Actually Allison) Saves the Day

Luckily this Judge Allison Burroughs she stepped in faster than I could say 'Bubba Gump Shrimp.' She put a temporary stop to that ban sayin' Harvard would be in a heap of trouble if she didn't. She said somethin' about 'immediate and irreparable injury,' which sounds worse than a mosquito bite in Vietnam. She set a hearin' for Tuesday. Hope they got enough shrimp.

Princesses and Professors Oh My!

Turns out this ban woulda kicked out over 7,000 students including Princess Elisabeth who's gonna be the Queen of Belgium! Imagine that! A queen learnin' 'bout public policy. I wonder if she knows anything about shrimpin'. President Trump even said Harvard should lose its tax exempt status. That's like takin' away someone's legs Lieutenant Dan style!

Fighting Words and the First Amendment

Harvard folks weren't too happy 'bout this. They filed a lawsuit faster than I can run from a Doberman. They said it was a 'blatant violation' of the First Amendment. Seems like they think they got the right to say what they want just like Jenny and her guitar. But the other side this DHS lady Tricia McLaughlin said it was just 'common sense' and that Harvard was bein' greedy for tuition money. Like I always say stupid is as stupid does.

Anti What Now?

DHS claimed Harvard was makin' things unsafe by lettin' these 'agitators' run wild. They said they were harassin' folks especially Jewish students. Harvard said they gave DHS all the information they asked for but DHS still wasn't happy. Felt like when I was playin' ping pong and I kept hittin' the ball back but Jenny kept smilin' and winnin'.

Open to the World Like My Heart to Jenny

The head honcho at Harvard Alan Garber sent a letter sayin' they were gonna fight this ban. He told the international students they were important and that Harvard would stay 'open to the world.' Kinda like how my heart was always open to Jenny even when she was off chasin' rainbows. I hope they figure it out 'cause Mama always said you gotta put the past behind you before you can move on.