Trump's Two-Week Iran Decision: Oil Prices Take a Tumble (Hold My Rocket Fuel!)

Oil's Wild Ride: To the Moon or Just Sideways?

Well folks looks like Brent oil is having a bit of a Friday faceplant down over 2% because Trump's playing the waiting game with Iran. Apparently blowing things up isn't always the answer who knew? I mean sometimes you gotta give diplomacy a shot even if it's about as likely to succeed as a Tesla roadster orbiting Mars without a few hiccups. But hey at least the U.S. crude oil rose 4 cents! Small wins people small wins!

Two Weeks to Decide: Sounds Like a Software Update!

Trump says he'll decide on Iran in two weeks. Two weeks! That's like waiting for a Cybertruck delivery! You tell me one thing and it doesn't happen for years. Anyway he wants to give 'negotiations' a chance. Negotiations huh? Sounds like a good time for Iran to buy our Flamethrowers build their own rockets and send them to space. I'm just saying diversification is key to success. Am I right?.

Bibi's on the Warpath: Hold My Falafel!

While Trump's twiddling his thumbs Netanyahu's decided to crank things up a notch. More strikes more kabooms! Apparently a missile hitting a hospital is a bit of a mood killer. Can't say I blame him. If someone messed with my hospital that I didn't own I'd be mad as hell. Maybe they should install some Starlink terminals for better targeting? Just a thought. #SolvingProblems.

SpaceX Diplomacy: Can We Just Send Them All to Mars?

Honestly wouldn't it be easier if we just sent everyone to Mars? Build a new society start fresh. No more oil squabbles just red dust and the occasional Martian dust devil. I'm available to lead that expedition anytime anyone asks. Think of it: 'Make Mars Great Again!' Has a nice ring to it dontcha think?

Oil Prices vs. My Twitter Feed: Which Is More Volatile?

So oil prices are down because of potential talks and escalating attacks. Sounds about right. Probably less volatile than my Twitter feed to be honest. At least the oil market doesn't get offended when I tweet about dogecoin. Or maybe it does who knows? I'm just here to revolutionize everything one tweet one rocket and one flamethrower at a time.

In Conclusion: Buy Tesla Stock (and Maybe Some Oil Futures?)

Alright wrap it up folks if oil prices do take a dip maybe now is the time to buy some oil futures diversify your portfolio and most definitely buy Tesla stock. Because you know renewable energy and all that. And remember sometimes the best way to deal with geopolitical tension is to just build a better future one electric car and reusable rocket at a time. Now if you'll excuse me I have a Dogefather meeting to attend.