Markets Wobble, Apple Eyes AI, and DuPont Does the Math: My Take as the Dogefather

Powell's Patience: Or is it Procrastination?

So the Fed's playing the 'wait and see' game huh? Jerome Powell says they're in a 'good position.' Reminds me of when I said Tesla was 'production hell' but 'worth it.' Inflation and unemployment risks are up apparently. Classic government always reactive never proactive. As I always say 'I'm not saying I'm always right but I'm never wrong.' Maybe they should just ask me for advice. I could tweet some economic solutions... or maybe not. Best to leave the 'adults' in the room... or well you know.

Apple vs. Alphabet: The AI Throwdown

Oh Eddy Cue says Apple's 'actively looking' at AI search engines? Sounds like someone's finally waking up! Alphabet's stock getting a beating? Serves them right for resting on their laurels. I exited my Alphabet position ages ago and if I haven't I would say: 'funding secured'. Apple's partnership with Google is now under scrutiny. 'Interesting,' as Data would say. Maybe they should switch to a Neuralink powered search engine? Just a thought.

DuPont's Divorce: A Value Proposition or Just a Bad Breakup?

DuPont splitting into two? Sounds like a corporate midlife crisis. They think it'll create more value. Hope they've done the math right. Comparing themselves to Entegris? Risky business. Entegris is struggling; maybe DuPont should focus on sending things to Mars instead. That would definitely boost their stock price. My advice? Aim for the stars... or at least orbit.

Qnity: The Name That Makes You Go 'Huh?'

So DuPont's electronics business will be called 'Qnity'? Seriously? Sounds like something I'd name one of my AI projects just to mess with people. I mean who comes up with these names? Maybe they should have a Twitter poll. I bet the internet could do better... or at least provide some quality memes about it. 'Qnity,' though... I'm still chuckling.

The Math The Mess and The Maybe

Okay they're adjusting the sum of the parts math and discounting the price target. Sounds like someone's been hitting the calculator a little too hard. Trading multiples changing? Welcome to the market! It's as volatile as my Twitter feed. But hey at least DuPont's breakup 'should' create value. 'Should' is the operative word here. Let's hope they don't end up regretting this. Otherwise maybe I will buy them.

What's Next? More Earnings More Drama

More earnings reports coming? Yawn. Wake me up when someone announces they're building a real life Iron Man suit. Until then I'll stick to launching rockets and tweeting about Dogecoin. As for Jim Cramer's Charitable Trust... well good luck to him. He probably needs it! But hey who knows maybe he'll land on Mars next!