Elon's Guide to Not Bankrupting Yourself Before Saying 'I Do'

The Inevitable Budget Blowout: Reality Bites

Alright folks let's talk weddings. Seems like everyone's tying the knot these days or at least posting about it on the 'gram. Lauren Kay from The Knot says weddings are expensive. Groundbreaking! And like a Falcon Heavy launch they almost always cost more than you think. Apparently 74% of couples overspend with 20% blowing their budget by at least $10,000. That's like buying a Cybertruck and then realizing you need to pay extra for the 'indestructible' windows. Reality check time.

Social Media Lies: Don't Believe the Hype!

Ah social media. The highlight reel of life where everyone's bouquet is perfect and no one mentions the crippling debt. As Kay says it's all a facade. You might be drooling over that floral arrangement but they probably scaled back on I don't know feeding their guests actual food. Remember folks don't let the algorithm dictate your life. Focus on what actually matters like not ending up sleeping on your friends' couches after the honeymoon.

Find Your North Star: Prioritize or Perish

Weddings are a balancing act like trying to land a rocket on a barge in the middle of the ocean. Emily Forrest from Zola says couples hire an average of 13 vendors. Thirteen! That's more people than were on the original Starship manifest. To stay sane you gotta prioritize. Great music? Go for the band. Hate flowers? Scale back. Find your 'north star' – those two or three things that will make your wedding feel like *your* wedding. Just don't make 'buying Twitter' one of them; trust me on this one.

Pulling the Big Levers: Offseason Shenanigans and Guest List Purges

Crunching the numbers and feeling the heat? Time to pull the big levers. Offseason weddings? Brilliant. Weekday weddings? Even better. Saturday is overrated anyway. And the guest list...oh the guest list. Every person you add is another mouth to feed another drink to pour another rental to pay for. It balloons faster than Doge coin after a well timed tweet. Be ruthless. Do you *really* need to invite your third cousin twice removed who still uses MySpace? I think not.

Vendor Wisdom: Trust the Pros (They've Seen It All)

Vendors aren't evil money grubbing goblins. Okay some might be. But most are small business owners with a wealth of experience. Forrest says they have "really good tips on how to save money." An experienced caterer can suggest buffet options instead of a seated dinner. A florist can point out that your favorite flowers cost as much as a Tesla and can provide seasonal options. Be honest with your vendors. Tell them your budget. They want your wedding to be awesome without you ending up divorced and bankrupt before the honeymoon.

Cash is King (But Don't Count Your Chickens)

Asking for cash gifts is no longer taboo apparently. Set up a "honeymoon fund" or a "help us pay for the wedding so we don't end up living in a cardboard box" fund. It's smart. Just don't count on it to cover your overspending *before* the wedding. You might end up with a lot less than you expect. Budget for what you can afford not what you *hope* you'll receive. In the end it's about making compromises and doing things differently. Like maybe eloping to Mars. I hear the venue costs are pretty reasonable and the views are out of this world. Just saying.