Trump's Got a 'Palace in the Sky'? More Like a Trojan Horse!

Another Day Another Alien Situation… I Mean Political Mess

Alright people Ripley here. Just when I thought I could settle down and open a nice cat sanctuary – Jonesy would've loved it – this hits the news. Seems our ex President Trump thought he could snag himself a free ride – a $400 million jet from Qatar. 'A palace in the sky,' they call it. I've seen palaces and I've seen things flying through space that'll make you soil your trousers. Trust me you don't want to mix the two.

Collins Sounds the Alarm (And She's Not Alone)

Senator Susan Collins is leading the charge on this one and she's got a point. She's worried about political espionage ethical nightmares and constitutional who ha. She says "The plane would have to be thoroughly scrubbed to ensure that listening devices had not been implanted." You think listening devices are bad? Try a facehugger Senator. Now THAT'S an implant you don't want.

Boeing's Got Nothing on Qatari Hospitality (Or Does It?)

Trump's apparently frustrated with Boeing's slow pace on the new Air Force One. So he goes and accepts a gift from Qatar? Last time I trusted a corporate entity with a spaceship I woke up with acid for blood breathing down my neck. Moral of the story: never trust anyone offering you a ride especially if it comes with strings (or tentacles) attached.

Is This a Bribe? Someone Call Space Force!

Senator Chris Murphy calls it an 'illegal bribe.' Senators introduced a joint resolution of disapproval to block a $1.9 billion arms sale to Qatar. All this sounds like someone's trying to buy influence faster than you can say "Game over man! Game over!".

Schumer's Holding the Line (and Trump's Nominees)

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer's putting a hold on Trump's nominees to the Department of Justice calling the jet gift a 'grave national security threat.' Smart move Chuck. Better to be paranoid than turned into an alien incubator.

What About the Xenomorphs?

So Trump says he'll give the plane to the Department of Defense then to his presidential library foundation. He thinks he can skirt the rules? Please. Someone needs to check that thing for hidden compartments and more importantly any signs of extraterrestrial life. Because let me tell you a palace in the sky is just another nesting ground waiting to happen. "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."