Trump and Iran Talking Nukes! Are We All Gonna Die Again?!

Another Beautiful Day in the Corps... Or Not

Alright sweethearts listen up! Seems like we're back in the nuke game only this time it's Trump dealin' with the Ayatollah instead of Obama. These talks between the U.S. and Iran are apparently going swimmingly – 'constructive atmosphere,' they say. Makes you wonder if they're sharing tea and crumpets instead of nuclear secrets. But don’t get your hopes up. As my friend Hicks always said 'It's a bug hunt!' And this one's got more legs than a centipede.

Desperate Times Desperate Measures?

So Iran's feeling the squeeze huh? Economy weaker than a newborn chest burster regional position shot to hell and internal discontent simmering like a xenomorph egg about to hatch. Apparently they're more desperate for a deal than Ash was for a live specimen. Trump's givin' 'em a 'opportunity,' according to these so called experts. Well I say watch 'em closely. Desperation makes people do crazy things. Remember Burke? Exactly.

Biden's Soft?!

Apparently Biden was too 'soft' on Iran. Now Trump's in charge and he can get away with anything. Re imposed sanctions 'maximum pressure,' the whole shebang. It's like Ripley vs. the Queen all over again except this time it's international politics and the stakes are… well pretty much the same: survival. This time hopefully we won't need a nuke to fix this.

Enrichment? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Enrichment!

Oh they insist their nuclear program is for 'civilian energy purposes.' Sure and I use my flamethrower for cooking marshmallows. The IAEA is issuing warnings like they're going out of style. Iran's enriching uranium to 60% purity – a 'short technical step' from weapons grade. Reminds me of when the Company said the derelict was 'uninhabited.' We all know how that turned out.

Trump's Red Line: No Weaponization!

Trump says no nukes or he'll 'bomb the hell out of it.' Charming. At least he's clear about his intentions. It seems that Iran is being flexible and willing to negotiate. Still Trump's ready to do whatever it takes. “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.”

Distrust Doubt and a Whole Lotta Danger

So there's still plenty of distrust floating around like space junk. Israel's not happy they don't want Trump to be flexible at all. But who can blame them? And what about us? What about our future? This whole situation just feels like we're stuck in another Hadley's Hope waiting for something nasty to crawl out of the vents. Let's just hope this time we're armed with more than just a pulse rifle and a prayer. "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."