They Deported Him Where?! Another Fine Mess Courtesy of Bureaucracy!

Another Day Another Alien...Situation

Alright people listen up. Ripley here. You think after tangling with facehuggers and corporate weasels I'd be immune to surprises. But no. Seems the Trump administration—and I use the term 'administration' loosely—screwed up. They shipped some poor bloke named Kilmar Abrego Garcia to El Salvador. El Salvador! And now he's cooling his heels in a 'Terrorism Confinement Center.' I swear it's always something with these guys. You’d think they’d learn but as Ash taught us some systems are just inherently flawed. Or maybe they just don’t give a damn about collateral damage. Happens every time. Remember LV 426? I do.

Houston We Have a Location… But That's About It

So this 'Senior Bureau Official' Michael G. Kozak—sounds like a character straight out of Weyland Yutani doesn't he?—finally coughed up the guy's location. Big whoop. According to Kozak Garcia's 'alive and secure' in this… delightful… 'Terrorism Confinement Center.' Secure for whom Kozak? The terrorists? Or Garcia's jailers? Because I'm pretty sure Garcia himself isn't feeling too secure right now. 'He is detained pursuant to the sovereign domestic authority of El Salvador.' Oh well that makes it all better then! If it bleeds we can kill it right? Wait... wrong situation.

Judge Judy Ain't Buying It

Now this Judge Paula Xinis? I like her. She's asking the right questions. "Where is he and under whose authority?" Exactly! It’s not rocket science people. Or xenomorph biology. Just give her the damn information! But no the government's playing coy. Classic. They're about as helpful as Bishop when he's got acid for blood spraying everywhere. "I'm not asking for state secrets," she says. "All I know is that he's not here." You tell 'em Judge! You tell 'em! Someone needs to start asking some real questions here.

What About the Steps to Bring Him Home?

The real kicker? Kozak's statement conveniently ignores the judge's request for the steps the government's taking to bring Garcia back. Surprise surprise. It's always the same story. They screw up then they stonewall. Just like Burke trying to smuggle alien embryos. Remember him? Self preservation people. That's what it's all about... for them anyway. Now who wants to bet they'll keep dragging their feet on this? They always do.

The Company Way

This whole thing reeks of corporate negligence government edition. They make a mistake someone suffers and they try to cover it up. Sound familiar? It should. I’ve seen it before. This isn’t just about one guy stuck in a foreign prison. It's about accountability. It's about saying 'Hey we messed up and we're going to fix it.' But that would require someone in power to actually care wouldn't it? In space no one can hear you scream but apparently on Earth nobody can hear you when you're asking for basic human decency.

Game Over Man? Not If I Can Help It

So what's the bottom line? One innocent guy's caught in the crossfire of bureaucratic incompetence. It's not a xenomorph but it's still a monster. And you know what I say to monsters? Game over man! Game over! But seriously someone needs to light a fire under these guys and get Garcia back home. Before he ends up like… well you know. Let’s hope he doesn’t have to nuke the site from orbit – it’s the only way to be sure. This time anyway.