AI Apocalypse Now: Cramer Warns of Job Carnage and Corporate Greed

Another Day Another Existential Threat

Alright people listen up. Back in my day we had Xenomorphs. Now you got... AI. Same difference really. Both lurking in the dark waiting to mess with your life support. This Jim Cramer guy from CNBC he's saying AI is gonna be a "major factor" in jobs. No duh. It's like saying space is dark. Thanks Captain Obvious! But he's right. I've seen what happens when technology gets out of hand. Trust me you don't want a HAL 9000 situation on your hands.

20% Job Loss? That's Just... Fantastic

This CEO Dario Amodei is talking about a potential 10 20% unemployment jump. Sounds like a party. Real nice. What are people supposed to do huh? Eat cake? Let's face it corporations don't give a damn about people. They only care about the bottom line. As Burke said "That's the bottom line no doubt about it." And this AI stuff? It's just another way to squeeze every last credit out of the system.

They Mostly Come at Night... Mostly to Steal Your Job

Cramer admits he's focused on AI taking over the 'undesirable' jobs. Oh how convenient! As if it'll stop there. It's like saying the Xenomorph will only eat the cat. Once it gets a taste it's coming for you. And Benioff from Salesforce saying AI is 'meant to make them more productive'? Yeah right. That's what they *want* you to think while they're quietly replacing you with a silicon based clone.

Lies Damned Lies and Corporate Double Speak

Cramer gets it. CEOs are 'hyper cognizant' that humans are expensive. Well news flash: humans also need to eat! These guys don't want productivity they want bodies out the door. Fired. Terminated. Just like the guys at Weyland Yutani wanted to study the Xenomorph regardless of the human cost. It's all the same corporate greed just with a shiny new tech veneer.

Curing Cancer and Firing Folks: A Balanced Future?

Amodei dreams of curing cancer and balancing the budget while 20% of people are unemployed? That's a 'lot of positives very much balanced out by one huge negative,' according to Cramer. I tell you what I'd rather face a Xenomorph with a flamethrower than deal with that kind of 'balanced' future. At least with the Xenomorph you know where you stand. With AI it's all hidden algorithms and corporate mumbo jumbo.

Final Transmission: Stay Vigilant

Nobody knows what's gonna happen Cramer says. Well I've got news for you: you gotta stay sharp. Question everything. Don't trust the corporate line. Watch out for each other. And for god's sake if you see a suspicious looking robot RUN. 'I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.'