Wake Up, Investors! Trump's Tariffs Are About To Blow Your Stocks Sky High!?

Aw Phooey! The Market's Gone Quackers!

So Mandy Xu from Cboe Global Markets she's a real smart cookie see? She's saying you dopes in the stock market are sleeping on the job! You're not paying attention to President Trump's tariffs and that's gonna be a real 'OH BOYYYY' situation! The VIX that's the thingy that tells you how wobbly the market is it's down but Mandy says it's a trick! A dirty trick I tell ya! She says things are gonna get even crazier than me trying to bake a cake!

Yenom Esuoh! Something's Fishy With These Bonds!

She's all like 'The market outlook is a lot more uncertain!' And guess what? The bonds are going up with the stocks! That's like me and Gladstone Gander agreeing on something – it just ain't right! The 10 year Treasury Note whatever that is went up like a rocket and everyone's running away from American stuff! Oh this is worse than when I lost my sailor hat in a hurricane!

Put Up Your Dukes...I Mean Puts!

Mandy says the bond market is acting all jittery. They're buying up "puts" or something which means they think the yields are gonna go higher. Translation? They don't trust the U.S. markets anymore! 'What's the big idea?!' This is the part where I'd start yelling if I wasn't already yelling. It's like when Huey Dewey and Louie pull a fast one on me but a million times worse!

Tariff Trouble? You Bet Your Bottom Dollar!

Back in March Mandy warned you all about those tariffs. She said the market was ignoring the risks and now look what's happening! She also said the bond market was hinting at a recession. I tell ya those bonds know more than they let on! It's almost like they're in cahoots with Pete and Trudy!

A Perfect Storm...Of Trouble!

Some other fella named Dan Nathan on 'Fast Money' says it's all a big panic because of the tariffs. He says everyone was caught with their pants down...er I mean they weren't ready for it! All the markets went haywire at once like me when I see Daisy with another duck! He calls it a 'Perfect Storm,' but I call it a 'Perfect Mess!'

Hold On To Your Feathers!

Dan says you should wait before you try to protect your S & P 500 or whatever. He says there's a lot of resistance around 5,750 5,800 and that's where folks will start panicking. The S & P 500 closed at 5,405 on Monday. He's saying wait for it... wait for it... BOOM! Then buy protection! I think I need a vacation...in Duckburg!