Aw, Phooey! Uber Gobbles Up Trendyol GO in Turkey for $700 Million!

What in the Name of Uncle Scrooge's Money Bin?!

Well blow me down! This just in! Uber you know the folks who sometimes get you where you need to go (and sometimes take you on a wild goose chase!) is buying up a HUGE chunk of Trendyol GO! And it's happening way over in Turkey! They're talking about an 85% stake! 85 PERCENT! That's almost all the pie! And the price tag? A whopping $700 million! I could buy a whole lotta hats with that kind of dough or maybe even hire someone to finally fix my temper!

"Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy!" But What's Trendyol GO Anyway?!

Trendyol GO see it's this super popular food delivery thing in Turkey! Run by Trendyol which is partly owned by that big cheese Alibaba! Apparently they've got like 90,000 restaurants on their books! 90,000! That's more places to get a decent sandwich than I've had hot dinners! And 19,000 couriers no wonder there's so many traffic jams.

Ka Ching! The Numbers Don't Lie!

These Trendyol GO guys are swimming in dough! They delivered over 200 million orders last year! 200 MILLION! And made $2 billion in sales! No wonder Uber's drooling like Goofy at a picnic. With Uber Eats already in the game and my local pizza places always late I wonder if they'll make any difference!

Uber Boss Man Says It's All Sunshine and Daisies...

Uber's top duck Dara Khosrowshahi says this deal is going to be AMAZING for everyone in Turkey! Consumers delivery folks restaurants even those itty bitty family owned businesses! He claims this shows Uber's sticking around Turkey for the long haul. I hope so because I hate getting lost!

But What About Uber's Own Loot?!

This whole shebang is happening right as Uber's about to show off their earnings! The bigwigs on Wall Street are expecting them to make a pile of clams! Like billions! So things are looking pretty rosy for those guys I hope their profits will provide me with a good reason to keep going with them.

This Sounds Great but I Hope They're Careful!

So there you have it! Uber's making a big splash in Turkey's food scene. Let's hope they don't get swindled like I did when those Beagle Boys sold me that 'genuine' gold mine! But remember what I always say: "I'm too smart for you!" So hopefully Uber is as well.