Aw, Phooey! SpaceX's Starship Goes Kablooey… Again!

What in the World is Going On?

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! This ain't good! It's me Donald Duck reporting live from… well my comfy chair because who wants to be near exploding rockets?! That Elon Musk fella with his Starship rocket had another one of those… whatchamacallits… 'unscheduled disassemblies!' Seems like every time they try to launch this thing it goes 'KABOOM!' Right before my very eyes on the computer screen! I should’ve known better than to watch I always get the short end of the stick!

Explosions R Us!

Apparently this was their NINTH try! Nine! And it went up like a ton of dynamite! That's worse than my luck at trying to get a decent night's sleep with those nephews of mine! First the booster went 'POOF!' Then the rocket started leaking like a sieve and… well you guessed it another big 'WHOOSH!' You'd think they'd figure it out by now but what do I know? I'm just a duck... a duck who knows a thing or two about NOT blowing things up... usually.

Mars or Bust... or Just Bust?

So the big idea is to use this Starship to take people to the Moon and then… hold your feathers… to Mars! Mars! As if getting my nephews to clean their room wasn't hard enough now they want to colonize another planet! Gyro Gearloose could probably build a better rocket out of spare parts! At least his inventions don’t blow up every time!

The FAA Has a Say

The FAA – that's the folks who make sure airplanes don't bump into each other – they're “actively working with SpaceX.” Actively working?! That's what they said after the last one went BOOM! Seems to me they should be actively saying "Hey maybe stop blowing things up near Texas!" But hey what do I know? I'm just a simple sailor not a rocket scientist!

Musk's Two Cents...Or 19 Billion Dollars

And that Musk fella? He's all like 'Oh it was a big improvement!' A big improvement?! It still exploded! I tell ya some people… And get this – his company's gotten almost 20 BILLION dollars from the government! Twenty billion! I could buy a lot of ice cream with that kind of dough! I wonder if I can apply for a government grant to fix my boat… it's been having some… 'unscheduled disassemblies' of its own lately.

Golden Dome Dreams!

And here’s the kicker! It seems that Musk and a few partners are trying to win a share of President Trump’s “Golden Dome” missile defense shield project! A missile defense shield! Maybe they should start with a rocket that can get off the ground WITHOUT exploding first! Aw what's the use? Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed... especially when rockets are exploding!