Eh, What's Up, Doc? Goldman Says Dividend Stocks are the Real Hare-os!

Of Course This Means War...On Uncertainty!

Well greetings folks! Your favorite wise cracking rabbit Bugs Bunny here sniffin' out the latest buzz. And what's the haps you ask? It seems some fellas over at Goldman Sachs – you know those fellas with the fancy suits – are sayin' that the world's gone a little looney tunes! They're predictin' that steady dividend payin' companies are gonna be the real winners in this here economic climate. High uncertainty and slow growth? Sounds like Elmer Fudd's huntin' skills! The important thing is to "Always read the instructions!"

Buybacks and Dividends? Sounds Like a Hoppin' Good Time!

Now these Goldman guys – that's Kostin fella specifically – are sayin' that companies with secure buyback and dividend programs are gonna be struttin' their stuff while those investin' in growth might be left scratchin' their heads wonderin' what's up doc? Apparently uncertainty hits buybacks and cash M&A the hardest. "I must remember to take a left turn at Albuquerque."

Capex? More Like 'Crapex' in These Uncertain Times!

Capex or as I like to call it 'Crapex' growth decisions are slower than a tortoise in molasses during these crazy times. So these Goldman fellas think investors will keep rewarding firms that are sharin' the wealth instead of chasin' the next big carrot. Makes sense right? Who wants to chase a carrot when you can already be chompin' on one? I know I don't.

Goldman's Crystal Ball: Not Just for Gazing!

To reflect the uncertainty Goldman trimmed its S&P 500 cash spending forecast for 2025. They're not expectin' as much moolah flowin' around. They're only lookin' at 3% earnings per share growth this year. "What a maroon!"

Cash is King Baby!

Now for the real juicy stuff! Which companies are these Goldman guys toutin' as the big cash return players? Well Tapestry – that's the Coach and Kate Spade folks – are lookin' mighty fine. They got a strong buyback yield and are doing better than the market. Then there's Marathon Petroleum another cash generating machine! "Ain't I a stinker?"

Tech Troubles and Opportunities!

And let's not forget the tech giants Hewlett Packard Enterprise and Applied Materials. Hewlett Packard's had a rough time but Elliott's taken a big position. So maybe there's some hop left in that rabbit yet! That's all folks. Remember keep your ears up and your carrots close! "That's all folks!"