Eat My Shorts, U.S. Steel! Japan's Got It Now!

U.S. Steel? More Like U.S. Steal…ed!

Ay caramba! So like U.S. Steel? Gone! Vanished! Poof! The New York Stock Exchange gave it the ol' heave ho after some company called Nippon Steel from Japan snagged it. I guess you could say they bought the company but 'snagged' sounds way more Bart Simpson right?

Trump's 'Partnership'? More Like a 'Doh!' Moment!

Old what's his name Trump was all like "It's gonna be a partnership! U.S. Steel's gonna stay American man!" But guess what? The NYSE was like "Nope! U.S. Steel's a subsidiary now!" Subsidiary? Sounds like something Milhouse would understand. This is giving me a serious WEDGIE.

Stock Market: Hasta la vista Steel!

The stock market pulled a disappearing act on U.S. Steel shares at 8:30 a.m. ET. It's like when Homer tries to hide the evidence after a nuclear meltdown – only way less exciting and way more about money. "I'm Bart Simpson who the hell are you" I shout to the U.S. Steel stocks but no response...

Trump Flip Flops Faster Than Milhouse Runs From a Spider!

First Trump was all "No way Nippon!" Then he changed his mind faster than Lisa changes her saxophone reeds and ordered a whole new look at the deal. Biden blocked it first but Trump's like "Nah national security? Pfft!" It's enough to make you wanna write 'I will not waste chalk' a hundred times on the blackboard.

Truth Social? More Like 'Untruth' Social!

Trump goes on his thingy Truth Social talking about a 'partnership'. Everyone's scratching their heads like Homer trying to solve a math problem. Investors? Confused! Union members? Double confused! But U.S. Steel and Nippon kept singing the same old song in their reports. This is just like the time I sold Springfield to Mr. Burns

Breaking News? More Like 'Breaking My Brain'!

So yeah that's the story. U.S. Steel is now a Japanese thingy Trump changed his mind a bunch of times and everyone's confused. Eat my shorts U.S. Steel... I guess? Now if you'll excuse me I gotta go find some mischief to make. Don't have a cow man!