Eat My Shorts, Trump! Modi Tells Prez to Butt Out of India-Pakistan Beef

Trump's Boast Busted!

Hey what's the deal man? It's Bart Simpson here reporting live from Springfield Elementary (aka my couch). So like apparently President Trump thinks he's some kind of superhero stopping wars and stuff. He's been running his mouth about how he totally saved the day between India and Pakistan. I bet he thinks he's as cool as Radioactive Man! But guess what? Prime Minister Modi just gave him a wedgie over the phone! He told Trump to eat his shorts because India never asked for his help in the first place. Cowabunga!

No Meddling Allowed!

So basically Modi was all like 'India doesn't need your help dude!' He was super clear that nobody in India wants Trump sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. Foreign Secretary Misri (sounds like a name Milhouse would make up) even said there's 'complete political consensus' on this. Translation: even the nerds agree! And dude apparently this phone call was all Trump's idea. Talk about awkward!

Kashmir Kaboom!

It all started when some bad dudes in Kashmir (that's in India geography buffs!) did a major 'D'oh!' moment and attacked some civilians. India got all Mad Max on 'em and bombed Pakistan. Then Trump swooped in like a wannabe Mr. Burns claiming he stopped the war. But Modi's like 'I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! You can't prove anything!' Wait wrong quote. He just said Trump was full of it. Close enough!

Trade Talk Takedown!

Trump also bragged about making a sweet trade deal with India. But Modi's like 'There was no trade deal man!' Maybe Trump was just trying to distract everyone from the fact that he's got a big fat trade deficit. Maybe he should call up Homer and get some tips.

Lunch with the Enemy?

Here's where it gets extra weird. Trump had lunch with the Pakistani army dude at the White House! He said he was thanking him for not going to war. I bet Lisa is having a fit over that one! It's like inviting Sideshow Bob over for tea. What could possibly go wrong?

G7? More Like GTFO!

So Trump was supposed to meet Modi at the G7 thingy in Canada. But then he bailed early because of... wait for it... Middle East drama! Talk about dodging a bullet. Maybe he just didn't want to face the music after Modi called him out. Smart move dude. Now if you'll excuse me I gotta go practice my slingshot skills. Maybe I'll aim for the White House... just kidding! (Mostly.)