Cowabunga a Tariff Disaster!
Alright dudes and dudettes! Bart Simpson here reporting live from… uh… my treehouse! I just heard about this whole tariff kerfuffle and let me tell ya it's more messed up than Milhouse trying to parallel park. Some billionaire dude named Ken Fisher is calling out President Trump's tariffs saying they're 'stupid wrong arrogantly extreme ignorant trade wise'. Sounds like something Sideshow Bob would cook up! He even went on that bird app X to rant about it. Classic!
Customs Chaos? Excellent!
Apparently these tariffs are so massive even Customs can't handle 'em. Can you imagine? It's like trying to make Bartzilla fit through the front door! Fisher also thinks the courts and Congress are gonna fight back. Sounds like a recipe for some serious Springfield style chaos. I give it a '10'!
GOP Bloodbath? Don't Have a Cow Man!
Mr. Fisher's saying that if the Republicans don't get their act together they're gonna get clobbered in the midterms. Looks like someone's gonna have a bad time! I wonder if they'll blame me? They always do! Haw haw!
Stock Shock? Doh!
So the stock market's been doing the Bartman – up down all around. Fisher thinks this whole tariff thing is making the market overreact. Maybe he's right. Maybe it's just 'cause everyone's afraid of Krusty Burger prices going up! Either way he's hinting at a big rally later on. Cha ching!
Economic Nuclear Winter? Yikes!
Apparently this other billionaire dude Bill Ackman thinks we're headed for an 'economic nuclear winter' because of these tariffs. Sheesh! Sounds worse than Principal Skinner's detention! Even rich guys can get their undies in a bunch. I guess it goes to show that everyone's a little scared. Not me though.
Pro LIVE! Get Your Tickets Now or Don't Have a Cow!
If you are into stocks and stuff or maybe you are just curious go check out the New York Stock Exchange and CNBC. You may learn something or you may not. Don't have a cow man!
Comments
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cashmoney
I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
Rhoda
Ay, caramba! This is worse than the time I accidentally glued Lisa's saxophone keys together!
rogerhep
Don't have a cow, man! Just chill out and watch Itchy & Scratchy.
LARRYLIVE
This is more boring than Mrs. Krabappel's love life.
LandCmom
I'm with Fisher, these tariffs are bogus.
lvbeijia
Who needs tariffs when you've got prank calls?
aidafo38
Eat my shorts, tariffs!