Eat My Shorts, Rubik's Cube! Google Ditches Fun for AI Overload!

Google's Grow Up Plan

Ay caramba! Turns out even Google's gotta grow up sometime. They're yanking out all the fun stuff from their employee learning program Grow. Forget learning how to solve a Rubik's Cube Milhouse! It's all about AI now. Guess they figured out 3D printers aren't gonna save them from the robots. Who knew?

Cancelled Classes? Don't Have a Cow Man!

So if you were hoping to brush up on your personal finance skills at Google tough luck! They're axing courses faster than I can say 'Eat my shorts!' Springtime sadness for anyone who signed up for the old Grow. But hey maybe they'll teach you how to make AI generated Bart Simpson memes. Progress people progress!

From 500,000 Listings to Zero Fun

Before this AI pocalypse Grow had half a million things to learn! Now it's like they're trying to turn everyone into a robot whisperer. It was supposedly a 'unique perk' of working at Google. Now? It's just another sign that the robots are taking over one training module at a time. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry but I choose to laugh!

Google Spokesperson Says What?

Some Google suit spouted some corporate blah blah about 'active learning culture' and 'relevant learning opportunities'. I bet they didn't mention the part where they're basically saying 'If it ain't about AI it ain't worth our time!' Sounds like a Mr. Burns kind of logic if you ask me.

Cost Cuts and Layoffs: D'oh!

Apparently Google's feeling the pinch. They're cutting costs faster than Homer can chug a Duff. Layoffs? You betcha! And they're blaming it all on the AI arms race. Talk about a convenient excuse! I wonder if they'll start replacing employees with AI Barts. Now that would be something!

Priorities Priorities: Show Me the Money!

The Google bigwigs sent out a memo saying a lot of the old courses were 'unused' and 'not relevant'. Translation: They weren't making enough money! It's all about the bottom line man! No more DEI training either. I guess being diverse and inclusive doesn't help you beat the robots. Who knew? Cowabunga no more!