Eat My Shorts, Nvidia! AMD's AI Chips Go Totally Crazy!

Ay Caramba! Stock's Up!

Alright dudes and dudettes! Bart Simpson here reporting live from… uh… my treehouse! Turns out some nerds at Piper Sandler (sounds like a law firm for bagpipes right?) got all jazzed about AMD that computer chip company and their stock jumped almost 9%! Nine percent! That's like almost a whole detention's worth of free time! They raised their price target to $140. Seems like someone's been hitting the Duff a little too hard eh?

Blame it on China!

So AMD is expecting some financial 'charges' (sounds like a credit card bill from Krusty Burger) because of some new rules about selling chips to China. They’re gonna be out 800 million clams that's like more than Mr. Burns has. But whatever they're bouncing back like a rubber band snapping against Skinner's bald head especially with their new GPU's.

MI400 Series? Sounds Like a Robot From the Future!

Check it out AMD unveiled these super duper AI chips called the 'Instinct MI400 series.' Instinct? More like 'Extinct' if you don't keep up with the times man! They even got a full server rack called 'Helios,' which can hook up thousands of these chips. I'm telling you these AI Chips will be more advanced than Smithers!

Lisa Su and the OpenAI Guy: A Match Made in Silicon Heaven!

So Lisa Su the head honcho at AMD showed off all this cool stuff at some event in San Jose. And get this: the dude from OpenAI Sam Altman (sounds like a superhero made of salt) was there and he said it all sounded "totally crazy." I bet even Milhouse thought it was cool! But I think that Sam Altman is a nerd like Martin Prince!

Helios: The Key to World Domination (or Just Really Good AI)

Apparently this Helios thing is a big deal. The Piper Sandler guys (still not sure about that name) think it's 'pivotal' for AMD's growth. All the cloud companies and language model developers are gonna be all over it. Looks like AMD is ready to take over the world one AI chip at a time. They are definitely coming for Nvidia's crown!

Don't Have a Cow Man! AMD is Back!

The stock's at its highest since January 7th before all the tariff drama started. Seems like AMD is making a comeback baby! So next time you're building a robot to prank Principal Skinner you know what chips to use! Eat my shorts Nvidia! Bart out!