Eat My Shorts, Iran! Trump's Nuke Tango Gets Spicy!

Trump's Latest 'Ay Caramba!' Moment

Alright dudes and dudettes Bart Simpson here reporting live from Springfield (not really but work with me!). So Trump's been yapping about Iran again and it sounds like things are about to go kablooey! Oil prices are sky high 'cause Trump's pulling troops and dissing Iran's nuke talks. He's even muttering about airstrikes! I bet Lisa's having a conniption fit already.

Troop Scoot: Time for a Doh ver?

Word on the street (or you know the internet) is that the Pentagon's ordered troops out of Baghdad Kuwait and Bahrain. Trump says it's 'cause it's a 'dangerous place.' Yeah well so is Springfield Elementary but you don't see me running away... usually. Maybe they're just moving closer to the Kwik E Mart for better Squishee access. You think they sell that stuff in the desert?

Iran's Ready to Rumble: Don't Have a Cow Man!

Iran's defense dude is all like 'We hope for talks but if you mess with us America's gonna regret it!' He's threatening to target all the US bases in the area. Sounds like someone's been watching too many episodes of 'Itchy & Scratchy.' This could get messy real fast.

Nuke Nonsense: Excellent!

The UN's nuke watchdog is wagging its finger at Iran saying they're not playing by the rules. Apparently they're enriching uranium like crazy – up to 60%! That's almost weapons grade according to some eggheads. Sounds like someone's trying to build a lemon powered doomsday device. Hmm I could use that to get out of detention...

The Enrichment Enigma: Now Kiss My Butt!

The big holdup is Iran wanting to enrich uranium. Trump used to be kinda cool with it but now he's like 'Zero enrichment or GTFO!' Iran's all 'But the treaty says we can!' It's a classic 'he said she said' situation only with more potential for explosions. I'd say "HA!" but not so sure about this.

Kaboom or Compromise?: Bart's Got a Plan!

So what's gonna happen? Will Israel go all Rambo on Iran? Will Trump unleash the hounds? Or will they hug it out and sing 'Kumbaya'? Some brainiacs think this is all just a big show to pressure Iran. Maybe they'll reach a 'compromise' where Iran gets to enrich a little bit but promises to be good. I say let's just have a pie eating contest! Winner gets the nukes! I would win obviously.