Eat My Shorts, Inflation! Home Depot Says No Price Hike!

Don't Have a Cow Man! Home Depot Keeps Prices Down

Ay caramba! Looks like Home Depot's CFO this dude named Richard McPhail is playing it cool. He told CNBC they're not planning on jacking up prices because of those pesky tariffs. "Because of our scale," he said "and the great partnerships we have with our suppliers...we intend to generally maintain our current pricing levels." More than half their stuff is from the US anyway! Score!

Diversify or Die: Home Depot's Secret Weapon

Home Depot's not as dumb as Milhouse you know? They've been spreading their bets when it comes to where they get their stuff. Apparently by next year no single country outside the US will be responsible for more than 10% of the company's purchases. Take that China! Looks like they're trying to 'outsmart' the system like I do during Springfield Elementary's standardized tests.

Walmart's Price Hike? D'oh! What a Rip Off!

Unlike that cheapo Mr. Burns at Walmart who's whining about raising prices because of tariffs Home Depot's keeping it real. Walmart probably uses Principal Skinner's logic when making money decisions. While Walmart is complaining Home Depot is playing it cool. Eat my shorts inflation!

First Quarter Blues: A Little Hiccup But Still Kickin'

Okay so Home Depot missed Wall Street's expectations for the first time since before I was even pulling pranks on Flanders. But hey they still beat sales estimates! For the whole year they're expecting sales to grow by almost 3%. Not bad considering everyone's too broke to fix up their houses thanks to higher mortgage rates! Things could be worse they could be like the Springfield Isotopes always missing expectations.

Spring Black Friday? Woo Hoo! Time to Upgrade!

Spring is like Christmas for home improvement nerds and Home Depot's apparently killin' it with their 'Spring Black Friday' event. Appliances garden stuff plumbing and electrical are all flying off the shelves! But fancy stuff like kitchen countertops and bathrooms? Not so much. Guess people are stickin' to the cheap stuff for now.

Home Depot: The Professional's Choice (Sorry DIY Dopes!)

Apparently Home Depot is all about catering to the rich folks and the pros who fix their houses. They even bought some company called SRS Distribution for like a bajillion dollars. They say their customers are "healthy" and benefiting from all those crazy house prices. Must be nice! I'm stuck with this dump on Evergreen Terrace...but hey at least it's got character right?