Eat My Shorts, Apple and Samsung! Tariff Trouble Slashes Phone Growth!

Ay Caramba! The World's Gone Nuts!

Hey what's up dudes? Bart Simpson here reporting live from… well my couch. Turns out some eggheads over at Counterpoint Research (whoever THEY are!) say Apple and Samsung are gonna have a rough year. Apparently these 'tariffs' that President Trump – uh I mean some dude – is threatening are throwing a wrench in their plans. Like who knew taxes could be so lame? I bet Milhouse is losing sleep over this.

Apple's Tree is Looking a Little Rotten

So Apple was supposed to grow like 4% this year? Now they're saying it's more like 2.5%. That's less than half! I bet Lisa's super bummed; she's always glued to that stupid iTablet. And Samsung? They're not growing AT ALL! Talk about a Krusty the Clown level flop. Maybe they should try selling more exploding phones...nah just kidding!

Not Just the Tariffs Man!

But get this it's not just these 'tariffs' that are messing things up. Turns out people aren't buying as many phones in Europe and Asia either. Maybe they're all saving up for a real life Krusty Burger? Or maybe they realized that new phones are just the same old thing in a shinier package! Like paying extra for Duff instead of Duff Lite! It's all the same stuff!

Huawei: The New Sheriff in Town?

But here's the kicker: while Apple and Samsung are crying into their silicon chips Huawei is laughing all the way to the bank! These guys are expected to grow by 11%! Eleven man! That's like getting eleven scoops of ice cream... or eleven detentions in one day! They figured out how to make chips better (somehow!) which is good for them. That's what you get when you "Don't have a cow man!".

India vs. USA! The Great Phone Factory Debate

Apple is trying to build more phones in India (I think that's somewhere near Springfield...). But Trump cough cough that guy doesn't like that! He wants them built here in the good ol' US of A! Sounds like a homework assignment for Lisa maybe she can explain it all to him. Me? I'm just hoping this doesn't mean my allowance gets cut.

Eat My Shorts Phone Industry!

So there you have it folks. The world of smartphones is in a tizzy! Will Apple and Samsung bounce back? Will Huawei take over the world? Will I ever finish my homework? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: I'm gonna keep skateboarding and making prank calls! Eat my shorts phone industry! I'm Bart Simpson and I approve this message.