Yeah Baby! Oracle Shares Do the Austin Powers Bump to a Record High!

Groovy Baby Groovy Stock!

Alright alright alright! Austin Powers here reporting live from the financial dance floor! Oracle yeah baby Oracle just had a shagalicious day! Their shares jumped 13% to a record high! That’s like going from shagging one fembot to… well let’s just say a whole lotta fembots! The reason? A positively smashing earnings report and a forecast that's hotter than lava! Oh behave!

Numbers That Make You Say 'Yeah Baby!'

Their revenue? A mind blowing $15.9 billion! That’s more than Dr. Evil has ever demanded in ransom and he asks for a million dollars! (Adjusted for inflation of course!) Earnings per share were also off the charts exceeding what those squares on Wall Street predicted. Piper Sandler even said Oracle's riding a new wave of popularity unseen since the late '90s! Austin Powers in the 90's? Now that was a great time! I'm telling ya!

Cloud Nine or Austin Powers' Pad?

Oracle's making moves in the cloud trying to out shag Amazon Google and Microsoft. They're still smaller but growing faster than you can say 'Yeah baby!' And their database is popping up on other clouds which Oracle's Larry Ellison says is 'astonishing!' He reckons it's because of all the AI mojo they've packed in. Multi cloud databases? This is my bag baby!

Obligations That Are Anything But Performance Anxiety!

Their 'remaining performance obligations' – that's money they expect to make in the future – are up 41% to a whopping $138 billion! Oracle's CEO Safra Catz reckons it'll more than double by 2026! And next year's revenue? Predicted to be over $67 billion! That’s like all the tea in China baby! I'm getting excited just thinking about it!

Stargate: Not the Movie But Equally Explosive!

And get this: they're working with OpenAI on a project called Stargate a $500 billion AI data center bonanza! That's enough to make even Dr. Evil jealous! And that's not even included in their current forecasts! If Stargate delivers Ellison says they've 'understated their RPO growth!' That is mind blowing baby yeah!

Capacity Constraints? Not if Austin's Got Anything to Say About It!

But hold your horses baby! They're struggling to keep up with all the demand. Analysts at RBC say they 'struggle to see a path to meaningful acceleration in the near term' because of these capacity constraints. Well I say we gotta find a way! Where there's a will there's a way! Because if not you're going to say: 'I want my daddy!'