Yeah Baby! Markets Shrug Off Middle East Mayhem: Are We Out of the Woods, Groovy?

Not My Bag Baby! Global Conflict Barely Ruffling Feathers

Alright groovy cats and kittens! Austin Powers here reporting live from my shagadelic pad. Word on the street is the whole shebang in the Middle East – you know Iran and Israel going at it like Dr. Evil and I at a sensitivity training seminar – isn't freaking out the stock market baby! Can you believe it? Turns out it takes more than a little international brouhaha to get these guys doing the Frug.

Is it the 70s Again? Only if Stagflation is Your Thing Baby!

This Henry Allen dude from Deutsche Bank – sounds like a character from a spy movie doesn't it? – says markets only get their knickers in a twist when things affect the 'macro variables'. That's economics talk for 'when it hits them where it hurts baby!' Think oil crises like in the 70s or the Gulf War. So far no 'shock and awe' on that scale baby!

Crude Awakening? Not This Time Baby!

Oil prices did a little shimmy and shake going up and down more times than me trying to parallel park the Shaguar but they're still below average. Looks like we're not heading for a 'petroleum panic' baby! Thank goodness because petrol prices already make me want to do the Austin Powers cry!

Equity to the Rescue? Or is it a Trap Baby?

Jim Reid another groovy strategist from Deutsche Bank reckons the stock market's got a 'get out of jail free' card this time. Apparently investors were already playing it cool so it's harder to spook them. But don't get complacent baby! Evil lurks around every corner... or should I say 'under every shag carpet'!

Peace Out? Iran Wants a Ceasefire (Maybe) Baby!

Word on the street – and I have my sources baby oh yes I do – is that Iran is trying to get President Trump to pressure Israel for a ceasefire. In exchange they'll be 'flexible' on those pesky nuclear talks. Sounds like a plot twist worthy of Dr. Evil himself baby! I smell something fishy more smelly than my breath in the morning!

Danger! Danger! Inflation Still a Threat Baby!

Alastair Pinder from HSBC is waving a red flag about inflation. If the Middle East stuff sends oil prices soaring it could trigger a 'mini meltdown' on the markets. The Fed is keeping a close eye on things and we'll find out on Wednesday what they're planning. Let's hope they've got a plan more effective than my attempts to defuse a bomb with a pair of tweezers!