Groovy Baby! Trump's Got Iran in a Shagadelic Standoff!

Is That Your Ultimatum or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Alright shaguar fans! Austin Powers here reporting live from… well not so live more like typed up but still swingin'! Word on the street is Donald Trump yeah baby that's right is holed up in the White House Situation Room which I imagine is like my bachelor pad but with less shag carpeting and more serious faces. He's mullin' over whether to unleash the dogs of war on Iran amidst their little tiff with Israel. Oh behave you two!

Evacuate the Dance Floor! Americans GTFO ing Israel!

Now hold on to your mojo because things are gettin' hairy! Trump's administration is apparently preparin' a mass exodus of Americans from Israel. Sounds like someone's ordering a Code Red – or should I say Code Shag? Mike Huckabee the U.S. Ambassador to Israel is organizin' flights and cruises. Let's hope they have plenty of Austin Powers themed cocktail umbrellas! Otherwise it is not my bag baby!

To Strike or Not to Strike? That is the Shagging Question!

The Big Cheese himself Mr. Trump is playin' it coy tellin' the press "I may do it I may not do it." Classic Trump am I right? Reminds me of the time I had to decide between fondue or a three way with Swedish twins. Decisions decisions! He even threw out the line “ultimate ultimatum,” which sounds like one of Dr. Evil's ridiculously named doomsday devices.

Iran Wants to Negotiate? Yeah Right!

Apparently Trump claims the Iranians are beggin' to meet with him but those sneaky devils are denyin' it faster than I can say "Yeah baby!" This whole situation is like a bad game of international Twister. Everybody's twisted and nobody knows where to put their foot next!

Khamenei's Got a 'Laser' For Trump: Irreparable Damage Baby!

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is not happy no he is not! He's threatenin' the U.S. with get this "irreparable damage" if Trump decides to go all Rambo on their nuclear facilities. Ouch! Sounds like someone needs a hug and a good shag. Maybe that would resolve the conflict... or maybe it would make it more complicated. Shagadelic!

Austin's Shagging Conclusion!

So there you have it my groovy readers! The world is teetering on the edge of a shag tastic showdown between the U.S. and Iran with Israel caught in the middle like me during a catfight between Elizabeth Hurley and Heather Graham. Let's hope everyone can chill out put on some Burt Bacharach and remember: peace is the answer baby! Now if you'll excuse me I have a sudden craving for crumpets and tea. Groovy!